“Yeah, but still. You aren’t O’Neill. Unless you’re getting into fistfights that I don’t know about.”

“Mmm . . . not lately.”

We stood there in each other’s arms, both warm in the afterglow of what we’d done. Then, just like last time, a strange awkwardness began to grow. We didn’t even need Maddie calling now. I carefully pulled away.

“You should probably go, huh?” I didn’t say it, but I was certain he’d be seeing her later.

“Yeah, but . . .” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“What, having an illicit and cheap affair?”

He grimaced. “No. But I mean, I’ve spent ages imagining what it’d be like to be with you and wishing you weren’t a succubus. I was always down on myself . . . I felt so shallow to be consumed by sex like that. And now that it’s finally happened—now that you aren’t a succubus—it’s not superficial or shallow at all. It’s so . . . I don’t know. It’s powerful. I wish this was an illicit, cheap affair. I wish I didn’t feel this so deeply. Otherwise, when we said yesterday was it, it really would have been it.”

I wished then, more than anything, that he’d say he was going to leave Maddie and we could be together again. He didn’t, though, and I certainly wasn’t going to bring it up. Besides, what good would it do? In only a few more days, I’d be back to normal, and our relationship would be as dysfunctional as before. What I wanted was pointless.

“Can I . . .” He took a deep breath. “Can I see you again? I know we said no more . . .”

I knew that by “see you again” he meant “have sex with you again.” And somehow, I realized we were on a precipice here. The first time had been . . . well, not accidental . . . but certainly unexpected. This time had been an out-of-control animal lust. But now? An open declaration of this affair—premeditated sex—it took things to a whole new level. There was no going back. I studied those eyes I loved, the warm and gentle lips. I assessed my body, how it ached yet still burned with pleasure. Then I glanced over at Maddie’s painstakingly researched real estate packet.

That should have been my mood killer, my warning. It was a reminder of who we were both betraying here. Seth had given in, but though I was on the verge, I could still pull back and save us from this. I had the power to say no.

“Yes,” I said at last. “You can see me again.”

Chapter 20

Chapter 20