And we looked at each other, regarding each other for a long moment. And then she said: ‘I don’t know what you mean.’ But it was a lie. She knew. And then she smiled. Dear God, that smile. A needle of ice went into my heart.

Did I know then that today would happen?

That needle of ice lodged in my heart.

Outside in the hall, the phone begins to ring.

‘Leave it,’ Mark says, his voice leaden.

But something compels me to go. A need to get away from this table. To escape the crushing atmosphere in this room.

In the dim light of the hall, I tread quickly, feeling an ache in every part of my body. I reach out, put the receiver to my ear.

‘Hello?’ I say, my voice hollow.

Silence on the other end of the line.

Heat rushes through me. It floods my throat, my face on fire. Because I know it is Valentina. Even though she says nothing, the silence unspools like an accusation.

I knew what my daughter was, and I let that girl come. Aware of the poison that lurked in my house, I opened the door and ushered her in.

I hold the receiver to my ear and try to speak, try to summon words – an apology, some scrap of meaning from this mess – but nothing comes. There is nothing there. I am scraped dry.

I can feel her listening at the other end. Both of us listening, into the silence, waiting, waiting, for the line to go dead.

Acknowledgements

I am deeply grateful to Jonathan Lloyd, my amazing agent, for continually steering me in the right direction and for being such fun with it; thanks also to Hannah Beer, Lucy Morris and everyone at Curtis Brown. Huge thanks to the dream team at Michael Joseph, especially Joel Richardson for his patience, clear-sightedness and thoughtful guidance; Maxine Hitchcock for her support and all-round brilliance; Grace Long who came up with the title and so much more; thanks to Emma Henderson and Sophie Shaw; and at Penguin Ireland, thanks to Carrie Anderson and Louise Farrell.

I was blessed to be able to spend the latter half of 2019 in western France, which is where I began writing Stranger. I am grateful to the communities of Saint-Pierre-de-Maillé and Angles-sur-l’Anglin for welcoming me and my family to their beautiful corner of the world; thanks also to Joyce and John for lending us their lovely home – it was simply magical.

For all the walks, talks and Zooms that have sustained me this past year, I thank Aileen O’Dwyer Papp, Ciara McGowan, Merche Marsá, Ruth Cronin, Emma Murphy, Tara Ryan, Alison Weatherby, Rowena Walsh, Tana French and all the members of the B-Step Squad. Special thanks to the incomparable ladies of the Exclusive EU Book Club, and a shout out to Wine Club too.