‘I’ve hardly seen you these past couple of months. How are you settling in? Are you happy with your course?’

Keeping her eyes on the water in her glass, Eva replied: ‘Sort of. I don’t know. Some of it is really tough. It’s not how I thought it would be.’

‘That’s natural enough. University is a different level. And you’re among peers now who are all very bright, and just as driven as you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Just be glad that you’re there. Look at Callum Ferguson, the mess he’s made of things. Poor Irene is distraught.’

‘Well,’ Eva said tentatively, ‘perhaps if they hadn’t put so much pressure on him …’

Abi considered that for a moment, then said: ‘You haven’t heard from him, have you?’

‘Me?’

‘You do know he’s missing, right?’

‘He probably just wants a bit of space. The way Craig goes on, I don’t blame him.’

‘His parents are worried sick, Eva. They haven’t heard from him in days. If you know anything about where he might be—’

‘Okay, Mum. I don’t know anything, all right?’

‘Fine.’ She held up her hands briefly, then let them fall again back down to the table. Eva could see how tired her mother was.

‘And don’t worry about university,’ Abi said, picking up the thread of their conversation. ‘It’s early days. Things will settle.’

‘What if I’ve made a mistake though?’ Eva asked with quiet insistence.

Abi’s brow furrowed. ‘A mistake?’

‘It happens. People realize they’ve chosen the wrong course.’

‘But Engineering was always your first choice.’

‘I know. But that was when I was in school.’

‘Do you want to transfer to something else?’

‘No. I don’t know—’

‘I suppose you could. If you’re absolutely sure you want to. But Eva, think carefully, love. Don’t throw away your opportunity.’

‘I just feel like I need some time to think. Just a space to get my head clear. I thought maybe I could see about deferring—’

‘What? No, love, that’s not a good idea. And anyway, it’s too late surely.’

‘But I’m unhappy, Mum. What’s the point in killing myself over this course if I’m not even going to carry on? Wouldn’t it be better if I just dropped out now?’

Abi stared at her aghast. ‘Are you serious? You want to drop out?’

Eva felt a vertiginous lurch inside her. Her mother was looking at her too directly, and Eva shied away from the heat of her stare, as if it might penetrate through the layers and fibres of her body and discover the real secret Eva was hiding from her.

‘What would you propose to do with your time?’

‘I could get a job.’

‘Waitressing? Working in some clothes shop? While all your friends are at university – is that really what you want?’