“I paid a visit today, after your call this morning, to Burger Crisp and spoke with Mrs. Gorkin, and her daughters, Gavrilla and Ludmilla, and I was satisfied that everything was in order.”

Godzilla and what?

“But how could that be? Their freezer was off for hours, my son Paul said at least one customer returned to the store feeling sick and—”

“I understand your son was fired from Burger Crisp. Or he quit.”

“I told you that this morning. That he quit, was fired, after this incident.”

“That’s not how the Gorkins explain it,” Sandler said, a hint of condescension in his voice.

“What are you talking about?”

“Mrs. Gorkin says they’d already fired your son, that he wasn’t doing a very good job, couldn’t get the hang of it, and that then the two of you came back making all sorts of wild accusations.”

Anger swept over me like a hot wind. “That’s total bullshit, Mr. Sandler,” I said. “My son was working, flipping burgers on the grill, when I came in and he told me what was going on. He wanted to keep me from eating my meal. He was scared for me.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Mr. Walker, but your story doesn’t jibe with theirs.”

“Or their story doesn’t jibe with mine. You really think I’d call the health department with a pack of lies just to get even for something, which didn’t even happen?”

“I don’t know, Mr. Walker.”

“Look, did you test the food? Isn’t there something you can do, take it into a lab and dissect the microbes or count the bacteria or something and determine whether it’s contaminated?”

“Of course. But I didn’t see any need in this case.”

“Are you serious? Okay, look, we’ve got an entire meal from Burger Crisp in our fridge. I could bring it down to you, you could have it tested, you’d know then whether the Gherkins—”

“Gorkins.”

“Sure. You’d know then whether they’re telling the truth.”

“Mr. Walker, I’ve taken this as far as I can. I don’t think there’s anything here for you,” and he hesitated, “or your paper to get involved in.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” I asked. “You’re worried that I, or someone else here at the paper, might be planning to do a story on this?”

“I never said nor implied that,” Sandler said. “The paper is welcome to do whatever story it wants, but there’s none here, and I don’t think the Metropolitan would like to find itself the subject of a million-dollar libel suit.”

“Oh, that’s good. I haven’t written a single word yet, and already you’re threatening me with a lawsuit.”

“It wouldn’t just be me,” Sandler said. “I’m sure the Gorkins would do whatever they had to do to protect their reputation and their livelihood.”