“Mandy…”

“All I had was Dean. He was my only trophy… my only success story.” She inhales a quick breath, then finishes, “I couldn’t handle the fact that you had him, too.”

God.

I’m absolutely dumbfounded, sitting slack-jawed on the swing with ice cream dribbling down my arm. I have to look away before my emotions boil over. “I-I never knew you felt like that. I’ve always had the complete opposite perspective. I’ve envied you my whole life—your beauty, your popularity, your bubbly personality. You always got your way. You were always celebrated and adored… the center of attention. I’ve just been hiding in your shadow.”

An abrupt laugh escapes her. “It’s funny how different things look on the other side.”

I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I sit quietly and process it instead. This whole time, Mandy has been jealous of me? The thought alone is preposterous.

Mandy continues a few minutes later after our truth bombs have sunk in. “This isn’t me forgiving you, Cor,” she says, biting her lip as she stares down at the patches of grass peeking through the melting layer of snow. “Not yet, anyway. I’m not ready… just like I’m not ready to forgive myself for my own actions. But I can recognize the fact that we’re all human and we all screw up. We all make big, messy, life-altering mistakes, and sometimes it’s for selfish, superficial reasons like what I did… and sometimes it’s because the universe throws you a curveball, forcing you in a direction you never saw coming.

“And while I can understand that, Cora, I really can, I just can’t accept it yet. I can’t handle the thought of family dinners with Dean at the table by your side, holding your hand, kissing your lips. I can’t imagine holidays or social gatherings or double dates, or God, becoming an aunt when I thought I was about to become a mother.”

Tears mix with ice cream as I close my eyes, sucking in a breath that singes my throat.

Mandy’s own tears leak out, streaking down her pink cheeks. “But what I can accept is the fact that we weren’t meant to be and what’s done is done, regardless of how or why. Dean deserves to be happy, and if that’s with you, I won’t stand in the way. But I can’t stand by your side either… not now. Not yet. Not until my heart fully heals.” She raises her chin, glancing up at the cloudy sky, one hand holding her cone and the other gripping the swing. “Maybe someday.”

Maybe someday.

I fiddle with the heart pendant around my neck with sticky fingers, swallowing hard, letting her words fill me up. Maybe someday sounds a lot like hope, and hope is all I have right now.

It’s seven P.M. and I’m cuddled up on the couch watching HGTV with Penny in my lap and Jude curled into a ball beside me. It’s almost like I’m expecting his text to come through as I reach for my phone at the same time it zings to life with a new message.