We were in the waiting room outside the intensive care unit and we’d been there for at least a half an hour. We’d checked in, were told that Clyde’s doctor would be to see us soon, but no one had come.

That couldn’t be good.

The room was empty with the exception of Jax and me, and for that I was grateful, because I was barely holding it together. When Teresa had called because they were five minutes from Jax’s house, I’d totally forgotten about them. Once I explained what happened, she immediately said they were coming to Montgomery Hospital, but I’d told them not to and that I’d keep them up to date. First off, I wanted them to enjoy their day in Philly, and second, I would lose it if they were here.

I was going to lose it anyway.

Now I paced the length of the sterile white room with taupe chairs and couches. All I knew was that it was a heart attack and it was bad. Clyde was in surgery. That’s it.

“Honey, I think you should sit down,” Jax suggested.

“I can’t.” I passed by the row of chairs. “How much longer do you think it’ll be?”

He leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs. “I don’t know. These kinds of things can take a long time.”

Nodding absently, I crossed my arms over my chest and kept walking. “I knew something was wrong with him, especially last night. He’s been rubbing his chest a lot, looking red in the face or really pale. And he was sweating—”

“Calla, you didn’t know. None of us did. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

He had a point, but I’d seen the way Clyde looked last night when he’d showed up and ran off the kidnapper. I shook my head as anger stole up on me like a shadow in the darkest night. “Damn her,” I seethed.

Jax straightened.

I stared at him for a moment and then looked away. “I know a lot of stress has to be on him from the bar and her being gone. Hell, a lot of stress is on you! You’ve been running the bar for her and for what? Tips and minimum wage?”

A strange look pinched his features as he rubbed a hand along his stubbled jaw.

“I almost got kidnapped last night because of her and Clyde was out there. He doesn’t need this kind of stress. Look at what it’s done to him?” I stopped, unfolding my arms and squeezing my hands into fists. The anger turned into venom in my blood as I said, “I hate her.”

Jax blinked. “Babe . . .”

My breath caught. “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Look at what she’s done to everyone. And for what? I know her life has been hard, because I lived it! I was right there with her, Jax! I lived it, too, but I—”

“We probably wouldn’t be where we are today. You know that, right?” he said quietly. “She gave us that.”