So that night Grandma Barlow came in and gave us each our blue nail-polish pill and then she said, Good night, my boys, just holler if you need any little thing, and when she was gone I lowered my hand down between the bunk and the wall, and Altemonte slipped his pill which was all sticky and wet into my hand. And I jumped down from the bunk and went down the hall to the bathroom, and I dropped the pills into the toilet and then I aimed my stream of pee on them to make them sink to the bottom of the bowl and then I flushed. It felt like espionage that dazzled, like the kind of trick that could get me home again, and Altemonte and I were so excited we couldn’t sleep but stayed up all night fighting about which was best, the World of Two Moons or Middle-earth, and who could make the best sound of flames with only our mouths, and this was the kind of fight that I could have forever with extreme joyfulness. And in the morning, Grandma Barlow sizzled pancakes and set them down before us on the table, and then she set down a cloudy water glass between us and there were two blue pills floating in it, and they were dissolved but they weren’t all the way dissolved they looked like rotten teeth.

They didn’t flush, she said.

Yes, they did, I said. I made sure.

They came back up again, she said.

Then Altemonte started crying and he said, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Then Grandma Barlow said, Altemonte, think of your mama. Think what you’re doing to her. She’s up there working and she’s saving money, and Altemonte, she’s doing it for you. Last time she came home to visit, you wouldn’t even go to her. And now this. You’re just making more pain.

And Altemonte said, I’ll go to her, I’ll go to her, Grandma. I looked at Altemonte and at his snot which was totally gross and amazing, and I wished that I could cry the way that he could cry.

It was my idea, I said. It was my fault.

Grandma Barlow said, Where’s your pain, Perley? You’ve been willful ever since your visit with your mama.

I’m ready to go home, I said.

That’s not in my power, she said.

I’m starting to feel more powerful, I said.

Grandma Barlow sat down at the table with us and she pulled Altemonte into her lap who was still crying and she reached for my hand across the table and then she prayed which I can’t remember all the words but it didn’t sound like she was mad.