The job was a few counties away, about four hours north. I’d traveled thousands of miles but never bothered to go up that way. Why go see a bunch of cornfields close to home? Now what you heard was that the cornfields had gone to drill rigs and flares lighting up the sky so it was never night.

I typed back, I’ll start as soon as I can get there.

I pressed send.

The first time I saw Lily, she was working at the hardware and salvage store, wearing overalls two sizes too big for her, a pencil stuck behind her ear. A knockout with hair all down her back. I couldn’t really talk when I looked at her, so I bought something I couldn’t use. What did you come in for? she asked, pointing her sharp chin at me, and I didn’t know what to say. I was building the cabin out at the Land Trust. I’d come in for a box of screws, but Lily, or her hair, or the way that her oversize clothes hinted at grace and heat beneath them, all this made me want to make big purchases. So I said, A piece of furniture. She blinked and then laughed. We do sell that, she said. We do sell pieces of furniture. I laughed, too. I said, How about beds? You got beds? Later I would tell this story as if it were all by design, as if I had game. But I had no game. None. Zero. I was terrified. I asked, You got beds? and was suddenly so embarrassed I could hardly continue existing. The last thing I wanted to do was come on to this woman. When I looked at her I didn’t want to come on to her. What I wanted was for her to come with me. To come with me and come with me. I wanted to be with her like being alone. As unending as that.

But Lily held my gaze, and she took me to the beds section. I asked which one she liked the best, and she said, This one will do. But it’s for two. Are you looking for a single or a double? She never stopped looking at me. I couldn’t believe how outrageous this was. Faced with the possibility of getting what I wanted, I faltered. Never mind, I said. I’ll buy a sink. A utility sink. She sobered up. Her eyes got wide. I’m sorry, she said. I got the wrong idea. It’s fine, I said. Just show me the sinks. She did. I bought the biggest utility sink they had.