“What is it for?” said Jason when she got home, breathless and flushed, and told him about it. “Doesn’t he think the government’s doing a good enough job?” Siew Li looked around their Tiong Bahru SIT flat, and had to admit its modernity was attractive, everything designed to be sleek and functional, all rounded corners and pleasing finishes. But what about people who weren’t as fortunate? She met them all the time at work, those who saw the progress around them but felt left out of it. There was still a lot to be done.

•

The Cambridge-educated lawyer who’d claimed to be fighting for them in detention was now leading the main party, and disposed to detaining people himself. For all that he’d railed against repression while in opposition, there wasn’t much indication that he believed people should have the right to choose. In 1962, they had a farce of a referendum—about how they should merge with Malaysia, with no option for becoming independent instead. Barisan told their supporters to leave their ballots blank, only to have the main party counter that blank votes counted as support. What was the point of democracy, if your only options were bad or worse? That’s why the struggle had to continue. Those in charge would never truly have her interests at heart.

In the middle of all this, Mollie finished school, got a job at HSBC, and abruptly announced to her parents that she’d been seeing Barnaby Remedios all this time, and had decided to accept his proposal. She was young, but so certain. Her plans were settled. Siew Li envied how sure she was in her mind. This was a path she had chosen, not something she’d fallen into, the way so many things in Siew Li’s life had come down to chance.

In February the following year, more people were detained. Operation Coldstore, like the supermarket, as if they were simply being put into freezer cabinets until they were no longer dangerous. The others told her the government was on edge—between the revolt in Brunei and Indonesia’s declaration of Konfrontasi, this merger they were planning was looking fragile—and that was a good sign, it meant they were running scared. But what about those who were taken? For a while Siew Li walked around with a cold buzz of fear churning through her, convinced every van that drove past was filled with plain-clothes police who might suddenly jump out and take her. It was weeks before she was able to sleep easily again.

Part of this was the twins. It hadn’t been so bad when it was just her, but the thought of being taken away from them was unbearable. Jason pressed her to find another job, or just stay at home. “Don’t rock the boat,” he said. “Aren’t things good the way they are?” And she’d feel his strong arms around her and breathe in his scent. The woody bass of his voice made everything sound so reasonable, and how could she argue, looking down at her babies, that all was not as it should be? But still she continued going to SATU, though she wasn’t able to write as many pamphlets or go to as many rallies as before. It didn’t matter. She wanted to be part of this thing, in however small a way.