“Eleanor is lying in wait. And do you know, she has taken the note, which was four pages long, and clothes-pinned every page to twine, then strung it like a garland over the dinner table.”

“Tell me you’re exaggerating!” Leeza’s expression makes it clear she hopes he is not at all exaggerating.

“Lanford can do one of two things: He can take the ‘How Dare You Invade my Privacy’ approach, which will just about ensure a nuclear winter to follow, or he can fall on the mercy of Sister Eleanor Mudd Wilson, and claim The Flake has been forcing unwelcome attention upon him, thus redirecting our mother’s substantial arsenal on her.”

We’re all breathless.

“But my brother is a fool—he was born one and stayed one, and ever will be, and he says, ‘What is that?’ with a look of pure innocence as if he has never seen it. He has made the most wrong choice. Eleanor does not even give him time to claim he’d never read the note or that The Flake is delusional or any other ridiculous thing. She just scoops up the breadbasket and throws it at him, dinner rolls scattering like popping corn!

“The fool is so surprised she’d do such a thing, he just stands there, mouth open, until the basket hits him, and then he is running up to our room, Eleanor two steps behind yelling, ‘I am not done with you!’ ”

“And then Trini—”

(“That’s the little sister!)

“—says, ‘First rule of horror movies: Run out the door, not up the stairs!” Chaz pauses for the big finish. “ ‘That fool is dead.’ ”

Chaz is a natural storyteller. He got the rhythms just right, and the punch line is both unexpected and perfect. If he could live past this place, there’s so much he could do with this talent. How can I say that without, um, saying that? “That would make a good monologue for an audition!”

Leeza and Tawny both second that motion, but Chaz is cool. “Thanks,” is all he offers, his eyes ever-so-briefly meeting mine. He’s looking at Tawny, not me, when he adds, “That’s not even my only story about a note.” Wait, is he talking about mine?

Tawny blushes. “What I write to you in dorm mail is private!”

“I’m just playing,” he assures her—or is he assuring me? I can’t tell.

Leeza announces that I made her the cutest llama, and Tawny immediately wants me to show her how with a napkin, which I do, all the while dying to look at Chaz, which I don’t. Somehow this situation is making me stupidly shy.