We find Leeza sitting with Ernie, Ma Elena, and Tawny, who unexpectedly leaps up to hug Chaz when she sees us. Girl is forgiving!

Chaz looks so relieved, it’s almost funny. “You’re not pissed at me?”

“If you’re,” she lowers her voice to a whisper, “that way … then I don’t have to wonder why we broke up.” He hugs her back fiercely, then she pulls away. “I deserve a real man!”

“Okay, sis, those are fighting words!” I say and am about to explain the inherent homophobia in this, but she just laughs at me calling her sis.

“You’re so funny, Weese!”

Chaz shakes his head as if to say, “Let her be.” He’s more concerned about the other tables, where a hundred eyes keep looking at us and then sliding away. “So, everyone knows?”

Ernie answers. “No. It’s like a major mystery. Gordo, Vinnie, Tad, and Arvis are gone, but no one knows why.” (I cannot be at all surprised that Red and Buzz Cut have such terrible real names.) “Then you and Weese skipped morning classes, and people thought you were gone too until someone saw you waiting outside Frohmeyer’s office.”

Tawny nods. “In History, Missy said it was a drinking party in the woods, and the cops came.” Oh my god—that is an image: me and Gordo clinking beers by a fire.

Leeza slaps Chaz on the arm. “We only know because Laney and Ernie filled us in on it. Why am I hearing what happened from Gale warning?”

“Hey!” Ernie’s face floods with color.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! A week ago, I barely knew you beyond diving out of your way, and now you got to rescue my best friend.” Her voice trembles a little. She turns to Chaz. “When you missed prom, both of you, I was so worried. I just knew you were in trouble, but I didn’t know how or what. I had to wait to find out, and it was torture.”

I try to lighten the mood. “Cell service at the Ledges is the worst.” Of course, that brings four blank faces, duh, so I adjust. “We didn’t have time to write dorm mail while they were chasing us.”

My quip has the opposite effect intended since it reminds us all what really happened. Chaz is grim. “I’ve never been so scared in my life. I prayed all the way back to campus.”

Tawny frowns. “I can’t believe they did that to you. And for what?”

“Right?” I say. “I mean, one little kiss, and they were out for blood!”

Chaz looks at me, mouth open. In fact, they’re all in various versions of slack-jawed surprise. Ernie’s face, barely returned to white from the moment before, starts to darken. Here I go.