She walks to the house, and when I see her kick off her boots and sit on the swing with her head hanging, anger and rage fill me because I did that to her. The woman with the most beautiful smile in the world sits with her head hanging because I just broke her again.

Turning, I make my way back to my truck and start it. I’m headed home when I turn back at the last minute. I pull up to the house, and the lights are all off. I knock on the door once, twice, and then the third time when I see the light in the hallway turn on.

I turn my back to the door and look out into the darkness of the night. When I hear the door unlock, I turn and look at Savannah, who looks like she was dead asleep. “Jacob?” She says my name with confusion. “What’s wrong?” She pulls her robe closer together.

“I was with Kallie tonight,” I say, “and she asked me when I fell out of love with her.”

“Jacob,” Savannah says softly, and she comes out of the doorway.

I take a step back. “She asked all the questions that I would ask her if the roles were reversed. She said I chose you over her.”

“I’m so sorry,” she says and shakes her head.

“She asked me all these fucking questions, and all I could answer her was it’s not what you think,” I say. “That’s all I could give her.”

“What do you want me to say?” Savannah asks, and it’s my turn now to ask her.

“I’m asking you permission to tell her.” I look down. “I promised you that I would keep your secret.” My heart speeds up.

“Jacob, what if she told someone?” she asks. “Everything will be ruined. Ethan will be thrown in this mess.”

“You think I don’t know that!” I shout at her now, angry with her. “You think this hasn’t crossed my mind in eight years? He is my son, mine.” I point at my chest. “Nothing will take that away from me and away from him.” I swallow. “I’m asking you to give me this, Savannah,” I plead with her. “Give me my life back. I beg you to give me back what you took from me.”

“I never wanted you to be caught up in this. I never wanted you to lose her. I know that losing her broke you, and I know that you blame me, even if you say you don’t. It’s why you flinch when I touch you. It’s why you won’t look me in the eye.”

“She’s my everything,” I say. “I thought I hated her for leaving, but I can’t.” I rub my chest. “I love her with everything I have, and I want her. I want my life back.”