He shook his head. Of course not. Why would he tell me something as important as that? I only spend every day of me life with him. I only take care of him and worry about him. I’m only the one he talks to when there’s nobody else. Why would he tell me? His face and neck felt hot even though the rest of his body was really cold. He hugged his hands under his arms and kept his eyes on the ground in front of him, even when he could feel Rave staring at him. He knew he wasn’t reacting right, that he should be joining in with the questioning, but he couldn’t find it in himself to fake it this time.

‘I have a question,’ Dave said. ‘Does it feel better than a wank?’

‘Jesus, Dave,’ Jeremy said. Please, please, stop.

‘No, no, no,’ Mitch said. ‘That’s a good question.’

Rave smiled. He pulled yet another bottle from the inside pocket of his jacket, opened it and took a slug. All eyes were on him.

‘Well?’ Dave said.

‘About a million times better.’

‘Bollocks,’ Mitch said. ‘If it was a million times better your bleedin’ head would be blown off.’

‘You’ll see,’ Rave said condescendingly.

Jeremy grabbed the bottle from Rave and drank it down in several deep swigs.

‘You all right?’ Rave asked.

‘Yeah, grand. Just getting cold sitting around,’ Jeremy lied. He wasn’t grand at all. Jesus, no wonder Deirdre was putting the pressure on. He felt like crying. Whatever you do, don’t cry. It was always gonna happen. It’s not like it changes anything. Get your act together. Why the hell are you so upset? If Casey’s done it, Deirdre’ll want to do it too. That’s why my chest feels like it’s gonna explode.

‘Go on, Rave.’ Jonno sounded fascinated, if a little scared. ‘What was it like?’

Rave thought about it. ‘It was like sticking your knob into the softest but tightest thing.’

‘Like a pipe full of pudding?’ Mitch said helpfully.

‘A bit.’

Mitch nodded thoughtfully.

‘I love pudding,’ Jonno said, and the lads laughed, but Jeremy wasn’t in the mood to join in. He was cold, tired and a little emotional. I just want to go home. Please, Rave, let me go home.

Jonno looked at his watch and stood up. ‘It’s nearly ten. I’d better go before Ma releases the hounds.’ He put his helmet on and secured the strap.

Mitch laughed. ‘The state of you.’

‘See yis.’ Jonno picked up his bike and cycled off. He was a little rocky at first but once he got going he was fine.

‘If he doesn’t sober up, his ma will kill him.’ Mitch snorted.

‘He’ll be grand,’ Rave said.

Jeremy remained silent, relieved that now one of them had gone home the others would probably follow soon enough.