‘You disappearing,’ Dave responded. The only boy who didn’t laugh was Jeremy.

‘Oh, that’s a really hard one,’ he said.

‘Not really,’ Dave said. ‘The door is just behind you.’ The boys laughed again. Dave was on a roll.

‘Oh, yes, very good.’ He was looking flustered. ‘Now, how about a card trick?’

Maisie felt her stomach twist. She wasn’t sure whom she felt sorrier for, the Amazing Antony or poor Jeremy, who had turned red-faced while his eyes filled with tears. When the Amazing Antony dropped the deck of cards, Jeremy stormed out of the living room and slammed his bedroom door. The magic act was going nowhere so the lads took the opportunity to pile into the sitting room and turn on the TV. Her boy was crying freely in his room when she knocked.

‘It’s going terrible, Ma.’

‘I’m so sorry, love. I blew it big-time.’ She put her hands up in the air.

‘I just want them to go home.’

‘They can’t go now. Your grammy’s been baking all morning and she’s still at it.’

‘They’re watching TV, Ma.’

‘That’s not so bad.’

‘It’s Murder She Wrote.’ He could hear it as clear as day from the living room.

‘Oh, right.’

Maisie sat on the bed beside him. She didn’t try to hug him. He was too upset for that.

‘I’m thirteen! What were ya thinking?’

‘I don’t know. I forget you’re growing up.’

‘I’m a man now, Ma.’

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, son.’

‘I’m not a baby, though.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Dave is going to make fun of me for the rest of me life. Even Jonno’s ma wouldn’t hire a mental case like yer man.’

He was right. She knew he was. She needed to salvage it with no time or budget. She racked her brain. They were too old for traditional games but she’d read an article that had made her laugh a few weeks previously on her break in the dental surgery. A female journalist had bemoaned the childish ways of her boyfriend. The article was entitled, ‘When the Boy Becomes a Man … Maybe Never’. Her boyfriend was twenty-eight, and his favourite occupation was to compete with his mates doing the most ridiculous things. She had listed every inane and insane thing they had done and rated it. ‘I have an idea.’

‘What is it?’

‘An eating contest.’

‘What?’

‘There will be three rounds. The first one is to determine how many crackers you can eat in a minute.’

‘Easy.’

‘You’d think so, but it’s really hard, trust me.’

‘OK.’ He wasn’t sure.

‘The second is drinking raw eggs.’

‘Ugh.’

‘I know.’

‘I like it. Go on.’

‘The third is who can eat the hottest chilli in the world.’

‘Do we have the hottest chilli in the world, Ma?’

‘No, but it’s really hot.’