‘Out there, among nature.’ Rave walked out of the door and closed it tight after him, leaving Jeremy alone to savour their secret hideaway. This is cool. It’s so cool. He leaned back against the wall. With the Edge’s guitar in his ears and the city lights in his eyes, he was warm, cosy and hopeful. For a second he allowed himself to imagine the future with his best mate, as they travelled the world together, sailing on crystal blue seas. Someone has to do it, why not us? He’d be captain and Rave would be the engineer, or Rave could be captain if he really wanted and Jeremy could be the cook. I’d be happy doing anything as long as we’re together. He imagined exploring exotic countries – he could almost feel the warm sun on his back and the sea air filling his lungs. His great-grandfather had been a fisherman. The sea was in his blood. It made sense. It was possible.

He could see himself on the deck of the boat, Rave at his side, sailing away from Ireland towards somewhere bigger, better, somewhere he could be who he really was and Rave would understand. The world would open his eyes and he’d accept Jeremy. Rave wouldn’t be afraid of him. Jeremy might even find love and he’d get over his crush and they’d be best friends for ever. It was a dream but it could happen if he focused, worked hard enough and wanted it badly enough. Why not? He lay down on the sleeping bag. For just one second he pictured Rave lying beside him: he was putting his hand through Rave’s hair, sweeping it behind his ear, looking into his handsome face and his grey eyes and kissing him, deep and long and—

Oh, Jesus … I told you not to relax. Get down! He slapped his dick and pushed it, holding it down. It bulged against his hand. Oh, God, please, just go! He felt that horrible fit-to-burst sensation and considered running out into the cold night and having a wank in the wild. He’ll never see. I’ll say it’s my stomach. Oh, God, what if there’s something out there? That’s all I need, something to chomp off me knob. Maybe that would be for the best. Jeremy placed the rucksack on his crotch and leaned heavily on it. He heard the rain hammer on the roof before he looked up from his lap and saw it pour from the sky.

‘Oh, no.’