This was a contentious subject to the residents of the BookWorld. The jump to copyright-free Public Domain Status had always been a fearful prospect for a book character, and even with support groups and training courses to soften the blow, the 'Narrative Menopause' could take some getting used to. The problem was, copyright laws tend to vary around the world and sometimes characters are in the public domain in one market and not in another, which is confusing. Then there is the possibility that the law might change and characters who had adjusted themselves to Public Domain Status would find themselves in copyright again or vice versa. Unrest in the BookWorld about these matters is palpable; it only takes a small spark to set off a riot.

'So all was well?'

'Pretty much.'

'Good. Anything else?'

'Starbucks want to open another coffee shop in the Hardy Boys series.'

'Another one?' I asked with some surprise. 'There's already sixteen. How much coffee do they think they can drink? Tell them they can open another in Mrs Dalloway and two more in The Age of Reason. After that, no more. What else?'

'The Tailor of Gloucester needs three yards of cherry-coloured silk to finish the mayor's embroidered coat – but he's got a cold and can't go out.'

'Who are we? Interlink? Tell him to send his cat, Simpkin.'

'Okay.'

There was a pause.

'You didn't come all this way to tell me bad news about Kaine, copyright panics and cherry-coloured twist, now, did you?'

She looked at me and sighed.

'There's a bit of a problem with Hamlet.'

'I know. But he's doing a favour for my mother at the moment. I'll send him back in a few days.'

'Um,' replied the hedgehog nervously, 'it's a bit more complex than that. I think it might be a good idea if you kept him out here for a bit longer.'

'What's going on?' I asked suspiciously.

'It wasn't my fault!' she burst out, reaching for her pocket handkerchief. 'I thought the Internal Plot Adjustment request was to sort out the seasonal anomalies! All that death in the orchard, then winter, then flowers—'

'What happened?' I asked.

Mrs Tiggy-Winkle looked miserable.

'Well, you know there has been much grumbling within Hamlet ever since Rosencrantz and Guildenstern got their own play?'

'Yes?'

'Just after you left, Ophelia attempted a coup d'etat in Hamlet's absence. She imported a B-6 Hamlet from Lamb's Shakespeare and convinced him to re-enact some of the key scenes with a pro-Ophelia bias.'

'And?'

'Well,' said Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, 'they retitled it The Tragedy of the Fair Ophelia, driven mad by the callous Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.'