“I don’t know. I mean, I felt it. I just haven’t seen it. He said last night was just about me.”

“Fuck me, that’s sexy. The last guy I was with came on my tits, rolled over and asked, ‘You’re good, right?’ Selfish prick. Isn’t it kind of weird you haven’t seen him yet? I mean, you guys have been fucking around pretty heavily for almost two weeks now.”

“I haven’t really thought about it.” I have. A lot. I wrote a sex syllabus, for Christ’s sake!

“What if he’s tiny?”

“Believe me, that isn’t a problem,” I say without thinking. Jackie stares at me with her mouth open. “I’ve, you know, touched it.”

“Naughty Lizzy!” Jackie giggles into the mic.

“Shut up. This was all your idea,” I snap, extra annoyed at being called Lizzy.

“Hey, no judgment here. I’m proud of you. And maybe a little jealous. I could use my own manwhore.”

“He’s not a manwhore. Jesus,” I admonish her. I’m pissed. I don’t know why I’m so defensive of Austin, but I can’t seem to help it. “He’s a really good guy, actually.”

“Is that so?”

“He’s sweet. And funny. And…” I stop myself when I see the goofy smile on Jackie’s face. “What? What’s that look for?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Duh. That’s why I picked him.” I know what she’s getting at, but I blow it off, trying not to dig myself any deeper than I already am.

“No, Lizzy. You like him like him,” she taunts in a high-pitched girly voice.

“Don’t call me Lizzy. And no, I don’t.”

Jackie gives me a knowing stare.

“Fine. A little.”

She crosses her arms and keeps staring at me, boring holes into my soul through the screen.

“Okay. Fine. I like him. A lot. So what? It doesn’t matter.” I don’t mention that I actually love parts of him. As long as I don’t love too many, I’ll be fine.

“Ha! I knew it!” She licks her finger and makes an imaginary mark in the air, keeping score of how many times she’s right. It’s a lot. “Just be careful, okay? Don’t forget, this guy is a major player.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. I’m not planning our honeymoon to Niagara Falls or anything. I’m not delusional. It’s just…” I trail off, unable to explain how Austin makes me feel.

“Just what?”

“He’s…not what I thought, you know? He’s more than I imagined.”

“Yummy. How many inches more we talkin’?”

“Jackie!” I drop my face into my hands.

“Whatever, you know you love me.”

“I tolerate you,” I tease with an eye-roll.

“Just remember, Lizbit, it’s supposed to be easy, dirty fun, not happily ever after.”

“I know…”