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Contents ( 38)
  1. Sebastian Faulks
  2. Contents
  3. About the Author
  4. Author’s Note
  5. Part One
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. Part Two
  11. 1
  12. 2
  13. 3
  14. 4
  15. Part Three
  16. 1
  17. 2
  18. 3
  19. 4
  20. 5
  21. 6
  22. 7
  23. Part Four
  24. 1
  25. 2
  26. 3
  27. 4
  28. 5
  29. 6
  30. 7
  31. Part Five
  32. 1
  33. 2
  34. 3
  35. 4
  36. 5
  37. Acknowledgements
  38. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘Did you get all your feelings out of books?’ Lena couldn’t hide her surprise.

‘Not my feelings. Not exactly. But an idea of … society. Of how to behave and what other people think and feel. Most of that came from books.’ Martha began to laugh, then checked herself. ‘I suppose it does sound rather ridiculous, doesn’t it? But if I hadn’t read, shall we say, a novel by Jane Austen I might have felt I was the only one who struggled with these inner things. I might have felt alone.’

The names of Otto Weininger and Jane Austen were making Lena feel ill at ease.

‘Tell me about that man who’s been sitting at your table at dinner,’ she said. ‘With the moustache.’

‘Herr Heideck? He wrote a book that was quite well known a few years ago.’

‘Was that about sex, too? Like Herr … the writer you just said?’

‘No, it was more about his travels. And politics. He’s here to write an article for a magazine in Vienna.’

‘What’s it about?’

‘It’s about us and what we do here at the clinic. And the world of psychological medicine. So he says. We’ll have to wait and see. Why do you ask?’

‘I just … wondered. Do you like him?’

‘Well, I hadn’t really thought.’

‘I mean, if he’d come to your rooms in London and asked you or your sister to go to the theatre or go for a walk by the river, would you have gone?’

‘You are a funny girl, Lena. All right. Let me think. He’s not really handsome, is he?’

‘No.’

‘But there’s something about him that I find … quite intriguing. I think he’s been through some bad experiences.’

‘I think so, too.’ I’m a hopeless case. I’ll burn out the disease one day.

‘I suppose he must be forty or so. And that means he must have fought in the War. That usually left a mark.’

‘Yes.’ Some butcher in a field hospital.

‘But I think my interest is professional. I always sit up when I sense something unresolved in people.’ Martha was staring out of the window, her head towards the afternoon sun.

‘How long is he staying?’

‘It was meant to be a week, but it’s nearly two already.’ Martha turned back to face Lena. ‘I’m going to have to start charging him soon.’

‘Do you think it would be nice to go to bed with him?’

‘Lena!’

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It just came out. I’m sorry, Fräulein.’

‘People have said worse things in here. Yes, really. But this room is like the confessional. Nothing escapes.’

‘Sometimes I say things and they’ve gone before I can stop them. It’s like when I kiss people. I don’t mean anything by it, but–’

‘Ssh, Lena. That’s enough. Tell me. What do you think? Do you think it would be nice to go to bed with our guest? With Herr Heideck?’

Lena felt Martha’s eyes, steady and amused, on her face.