‘You don’t need to see the room itself. You could just close your eyes and I would look after you.’

‘I’m sure you would, Herr Heideck. But I have other plans I must stick to. And I think you’ve had too much to drink.’

‘Too much for what?’

‘Too much to know what you’re saying.’

‘But not too much to know what I’d like. Or to be able to make it happen.’

Charlotte laughed. ‘You are a very nice man, Anton, if I can call you that. And who knows, in another life … With no Harriet, no Martha, no party …’

‘My dear Charlotte, what use is another life to me? There is only one life.’

‘And it is therefore perfect.’

‘Come to my room, you dear, kind woman. I have wine, I have schnapps. I have a soft bed and a wonderfully warm, clean duvet. I have experience.’

‘I’m sure you do. And your experience must tell you that it would end badly.’

‘Why?’

‘Because we can’t have such simple pleasures in life. It’s not allowed.’

‘By whom?’

‘By God. By anyone. By life. It’s the nature of things. There’s always a price to pay. And the punishment must always exceed the crime.’

‘But that’s unbearable.’

‘It’s a law of nature. It’s like gravity. As you know.’

Anton looked down. ‘I know.’ He kicked at a cobble. ‘I do know.’

The north wind was bringing more snow; it came in a gust through the open gates behind them.

‘Walk with me to the end of the cloister there,’ said Charlotte. ‘Then you should go up to your room. If anyone asks, I’ll say you said goodnight.’

‘No one will ask.’

Charlotte put her arm through his and helped him walk.

‘We can skate tomorrow on the lake,’ said Charlotte. ‘Can you feel that freezing wind?’

‘It makes me want to die.’

They walked a few steps further in silence. ‘Why do you feel like that tonight?’ said Charlotte. ‘On such a happy occasion. Think of all those faces in the hall. Even the poor people from the Kraepelin wards. Even they were smiling.’

‘Something broke in me.’

They walked a few more steps, then Charlotte said, ‘Maybe it didn’t break. Perhaps something merely altered. Shifted. Maybe you don’t understand that yet.’

‘Please come and—’

‘This is where I’m going to leave you. You know how to find your room.’

Anton nodded, as he used to nod when rebuked by the Gymnasium teacher.

‘You’ll be all right,’ said Charlotte. ‘The lake will freeze hard. We can all go skating tomorrow. The sun will burn bright. I know this country. I was born here.’

Her voice had grown quite loud. ‘You will be all right,’ she said again, then kissed him on the cheek and hurried off towards the main house, back to the music.

4

Lena’s room in Rudolf’s apartment was larger than she’d expected and she wished she’d had more things to put in it. The sailing boat from Trieste sat over the fireplace and she bought a frame for her attempted portrait of Stefan, which she hung on a wall between two windows. Even though Martha had allowed her to take her dinner dress when she left and had given her a couple of old things of her own, Lena’s clothes took up only half the wardrobe in her new room.