We live so close to death here. To lose all those puppies. And how? They hadn’t even been named, they were still so small. Rolls of black-and-white fur, nails and tongue. After their mothers had been poisoned they moved from the bushes to the patio, ate mushed-up dog food softened with broth. They slept around the legs of the table, yelped in unison when I opened the doors in the morning. Mallika complained because there was always piss and shit on the patio floors. ‘Can’t you teach them to do their business in the garden?’

‘Thirteen puppies,’ I said. ‘They’ll have to learn themselves.’

One morning the runt of the lot vomited after feeding. Its body convulsed, pissing and quivering. It lasted a minute. When it was over it returned to the other dogs, legs slightly bowed. Lucia scooped it up and tenderly rubbed the goopy discharge from its eyes. ‘Poor baby,’ she cooed.

Throughout the day the pup had seizures. At night I brought it inside and stayed up with it in the sitting room. Lucia kept coming downstairs to turn the lights off, and Golly followed her, wagging her tail, sniffing the air. ‘Go to bed,’ I kept shouting. ‘For fucksake go to sleep.’ She ignored me and sat on the couch with her socks and handkerchiefs, rocking and singing. ‘Golly needs to be away from the pup, Lucy,’ I said. ‘Understand? She needs to be away from her.’ I dragged the dog upstairs and closed the bedroom door, and she howled a while before settling down. Bagheera, Raja and Dimple paced up and down the patio, pressing their noses to the window grilles.

Lucia stayed on the couch till she tired and fell asleep. I lay on the floor cushions with the pup in my lap. The pup kept running off to pee, shit, then circle around her mess, as if not understanding why her body was doing this. I got up and cleaned the crap with paper towels, then lured the pup back to me. She would sit in the folds of my dress for a short while, heart pounding madly, then off again. All night this macabre dance – silence and frenzy. That small black-and-white beast looking up in confusion as if to say, What is this, what is this coming for me?

At dawn the pup started foaming at the mouth. Her movements became more erratic, the circles she ran in wider and wider. Finally she ran upstairs and hid under my bed. I left her there, shaking and foaming, body damp with sweat. She no longer responded to me. It was as if she couldn’t see or hear me. At six I went to get the crate from the garage. I made a cup of tea and woke Lucy. ‘I’m taking the puppy to the doctor, okay? You’ll have to be good and stay here with Mallika and look after the other dogs.’