There must be a sign on my forehead, Pauline thought, her mind retreating into itself even as her lungs fought for air and her body for life. I must have ‘victim’ tattooed on my head. That’s how they find me, these monsters. Barbara was right. I have to toughen up. Maybe women shouldn’t suffer in silence.

So she’d stared into her attacker’s eyes as he throttled her, knowing she was going to pass out but telling herself that when she woke, she’d be a stronger woman. She wouldn’t let a man do this to her again.

She wouldn’t be a victim any more.

CHAPTER 28

‘Anything from your lot?’

Michael placed a glass of water and a bag of sour jellies on Laura’s desk. They were working on the list of Holland employees and had taken twenty names each, delegating the basic background checks to the uniforms so they could concentrate on deeper research if anything came up.

Laura shook her head and took one of the fizzy worms, her face contorting as she sucked the bittersweet sugar coating. Her eyes were tired from staring at the computer screen. She’d gone through name after name and nothing had jumped out at her.

‘Zilch,’ she said. ‘This week, all that bloody travel, it’s catching up on me. I can’t concentrate on anything today.’

It was late afternoon and she wanted to pack it all in and go home. Scratch that. She wanted to go for that drink with Ray. They’d barely exchanged two words all day and while she knew it was because they were busy, she was starting to wonder if yesterday had actually happened. The whole exchange had been eerily similar to the daydreams she used to have.

Michael gave her a comradely pat on the shoulder and wandered off to answer the phone ringing on his desk.

Laura looked at her screen again, speed-reading down the Excel sheet. The names had been formatted with ages; addresses for when they’d applied for the job and their current abodes; length of service in the Hollands’ business; job description; and anything of note in the person’s background. She’d bet there was plenty on here the Hollands weren’t aware of. Her eyes flicked to the name of a girl who’d been sacked for stealing from a former employer. There was no way she’d included that in her CV. Another man had faced an accusation of rape of a minor. That one had given Laura pause for thought. But when she’d dug deeper, it turned out he’d been seventeen at the time and the person he was accused of raping had been his fifteen-year-old girlfriend. Her parents had pursued the prosecution, but the charges had ultimately been dropped.

Fergus Holland was listed as an employee, his job title simply ‘landscape and delivery’.

Laura looked away from the screen.