She wasn’t sure whether it was the fatigue, the anxiety, or the absence of her best friend’s wisdom, but Lily found herself growing irritable and increasingly low in mood. Presenting a positive, chirpy version of herself to the children was one thing, but embodying it was becoming harder and harder. She wanted to feel optimistic, she really did, but the doubts were creeping ever forwards and settling in the pit of her stomach.

What if they’d wasted too much time and Alice had already succumbed to their power? What if she didn’t want to be saved? Or, what if Alice had already left this world, left Lily behind to find her way blindly through a life without the light of Alice’s friendship?

She entered the study, a cloud of dejection and pessimism floating inches above her curls, threatening to crush her. For the first time in her eighteen years of living, she felt alone. She had left Alf to fend for himself, Alice had left her, the children only saw her as a temporary acquaintance, and Jem… She didn’t know what to think about Jem. She thought she had found in him a kindred spirit, a friend. Perhaps in a normal world that wasn’t full of witches and murder and kidnapping, perhaps he could have been something more. Lily knew it was a selfish thing to think about, to yearn for. But that evening on the shoreline they had spent together, vulnerable, raw, completely and utterly at peace with each other, holding on as if they were the last two people on earth, holding on for dear life … that all felt real. Her chest had been ripped open and she had willingly scooped out her heart and placed it next to his, right there on the floor in front of them, and they had accepted each other – or so she’d thought. Now he was closed off and guarded again, as if it had never happened, as if he were ashamed.

Why hadn’t someone written a book about this that she could study, so that she might understand her own feelings and interpret everyone else’s?

She tried to push the distracting thoughts out of her brain and focus on the task in hand. She decided that organising their maps and notes would be the best way for her to reengage with the material and with her own mind. Lily Knight was no witch, but she was certainly magic when it came to organisation.

She stood tall over the desk, examining each piece of information carefully, trying to work out the best way to structure the process. She eventually decided to group their research into stages: things to remember before setting out; things to keep in mind as they travelled; and things they would need to know upon finding the Shadow Sect. Once she had these headings in her mind, she set to work furiously arranging and rearranging the documents in order of importance. The process of creating order out of chaos helped to calm her mind and reinstate a little bit of confidence. Between them, she and Jem had managed to collate a wide variety of information.