He dropped on the ground to his knees, feeling the wet grass as he leant his head against the large, stone wall of the barn. He closed his eyes, trying to stop himself from shaking. He didn’t know if he could do it; he didn’t know if he could go back in there.

The tears rolled down his cheeks and he watched them drop onto the earth. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just pull himself together? ‘Come on, come on, you can do this, you can beat this.’ He spoke out loud to himself in a quiet whisper, hating himself for being so weak, hating the fact that Taylor needed him to be strong yet here he was, crying. Here was the great Alfie Jennings crying, but then he wasn’t so great, was he? If he couldn’t do this without turning into a trembling wreck, what use was he to anybody? To Taylor. To Mia. To Franny. Shame not greatness was the only thing he felt.

‘Gosh, make sure you give me the name of that restaurant, won’t you? Then I can make sure I never go to it.’ Rupert stood above him, chuckling at his own joke.

Alfie turned his head, wiping his tears. He stood up and nodded and with a cold look he flatly said, ‘Yeah, sure.’

Rupert spoke in a clipped voice, brimming with excitement. ‘Anyway, just thought you’d like to know the auction’s going to start at any moment. The screen’s all set up.’

Alfie frowned. ‘Screen?’

‘Yes, the wonders of technology. Barry’s going to FaceTime in; he’ll be projected on the wall by all accounts. A larger-than-life Barry, who’d have thought? Marvellous isn’t it? Come on …’

Taking a deep breath, Alfie followed Rupert inside the barn. A feeling of dread crept all over him as he prepared himself to sit and watch a larger-than-life image of the monster who’d haunted his waking dreams.

45

With the bag of money on his lap, Alfie held on to his chair, squeezing it hard as the projector threw the image of Barry onto the massive screen at the far end of the barn.

He watched and listened, hearing Barry talk – the first time he had done since the court case all those years ago.

Barry waved and grinned as he sat in what Alfie thought looked like an empty room, purring with pleasure as he FaceTimed the awaiting crowd of bidders. ‘Pleased so many of you could make it. As you know I haven’t been around for a while. I was a bit busy, you know what her majesty’s like – likes to take her time, likes to do things at her pleasure. Twenty-two years of fucking pleasure!’