A notification pops up that I have a message from a new follower. When I open the message, I almost drop my phone in my soup bowl. It’s from Madeline, my old housemate in Portland and one of my best friends from my old job. She and I spent countless late nights and busy shifts together, always laughing and venting about our days when we arrived home.

Hey, Nikki! I know it’s been ages, but I follow Chic TV on Instagram and I saw that you and your mom won the Maui Food Festival! Congratulations!! So incredibly happy for you both! And I’m super excited to see that you’re going to be in a commercial too! Just wanted to say that I’ve been rooting for you this whole time and I’m so, so proud of you

With teary eyes, I find the last text she sent me, which was more than eight months ago. I never even bothered to answer her.

MADELINE: Hey. I just want you to know that I’m still thinking of you. Always. I don’t mean to bother you when you’re grieving, but please reach out when you’re ready. Take all the time you need, okay? I’ll always be here for you, Nikki.

My eyes burn. When I blink, a tear falls. But I’m not sad. I’m hopeful. If spending time with Penelope has shown me anything, it’s that friendship is worth the effort.

I can still have my friend back. All I have to do is reach out. And that’s exactly what I do. I open Instagram again and reply to her message.

Hey, Madeline. Thank you so much. You have no idea what it means that you reached out to me I know it’s been forever . . . I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. Life’s been kicking my ass, but I’m figuring it out. I totally understand if you’re not up for reconnecting, but I wanted to say that I really miss you, I hope you’re doing well, and I’d love to call you sometime if you’re up for it.

I hit send and hope for a miracle.

•   •   •

“Not again,” I mutter, looking down at my phone.

The number flashing across the screen makes me want to chuck it out the food truck window.

Still no contact from Callum. The only phone calls I seem to get lately are from bloggers wanting details about my and Callum’s failed relationship or because they want us to name-drop them during our commercial slot with Chic TV, which we’re filming at the end of the summer.