I thought falling into a sobbing pile of tears in front of Penelope yesterday would be my all-time low. How I wish. I hit a whole new low every time I check Tiva’s Twitter or Instagram accounts and read the incendiary comments people leave.

I polish off my glass of beer while eyeing the results page of my latest search. Audio clips of Callum and me lashing out at each other circulate like wildfire. Thankfully, no one was able to get a clear video of the two of us having it out, but the sound they recorded is plenty hurtful. I let myself listen to part of one clip that some newbie food vlogger named @IEatEverything posted, but I muted it halfway through. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t relive hearing my and Callum’s raised voices, our wrenched words, our private pain on display for strangers to listen to, like some demented heartbreak song played on repeat.

I grit my teeth while scrolling through the endless tweets.

Who knew these two were dating? #mauifoodfestival #foodtruckromance #torridaffair

Someone caught feelings. Hate when that happens #ouch #brokenhearted

I can’t bear to think this British stud is heartbroken. What kind of monster breaks up with a hunk like that? #pickmeinstead

Nikki from @Tivas is an ice queen for leaving that hottie out to dry. Yo, Callum! I love @HungryChaps! Hit me up! I’ll cheer you up! #DTF

My eyes go crossed reading all the declarations of love for Callum and admonishments aimed at me. But they have no clue about our history, our feelings, what we endured. They have no right to make judgments about me or Callum. They don’t know a damn thing about us.

Halfway down the results page, the comments grow even snarkier. My jaw aches with how hard I’m biting down.

Bet they planned this for the publicity. Perfect timing with the #mauifoodfestival. The whole thing screams scripted drama #dontbelievethehype

Two rivals having a secret affair in the run-up to the biggest competition of their careers, then a public breakup?? #manufacturedromance #fake

Public argument + wrenching breakup = free publicity and more business for @HungryChaps and @Tivas, amirite?? #fakeAF

I grip the edge of the counter until my fingers ache, wondering if the Flavor Network, the cosponsor of the Maui Food Festival, has seen any of this. Holding my breath, I make a silent wish that somehow, some way, this major TV network doesn’t have a social media department. Because if they catch wind of any of this, it’s all over. They’ll think Hungry Chaps and Tiva’s conspired together to secure their top finishes, and disqualify us like they did with last year’s champion. I hold in a breath then let it burst out, annoyed with myself. All the deep breaths in the world don’t make one bit of difference in this disaster.