How will I remember this? With smashing glass from the windscreen and the kids up the street laughing at all of us? The dumb song they are singing on some kids’ show on afternoon TV just as they tell me that my dad…

A plane.

Nurse says is there anything you’d like to ask like to know I say I need a smoke. Blood pounding in my head walk out onto the street.

How did he get it? Who gave it to him was it their fault or his—why did he get it? Will I get it?—What if he uses my toothbrush or spits on my plate or infects the toilet—have I got it? How can you be sure I haven’t got it already? Will he die? If he dies what’ll happen to me, who should I tell who shouldn’t I tell?

She smokes. DANE approaches.

Get out of the hospital, to think—smoke try to call you Squid but your phone’s off and that’s where I run into him. He’s watching me smoking and I feel him looking at me something from his eyes some energy and he smiles looks at me comes over and says/

DANE: You got a smoke?

TAMARA: Yeah.

DANE: Gave up but/

TAMARA: What?

DANE: Feel like one.

TAMARA: They aren’t cheap, ya know.

DANE: You want some money for one?

TAMARA: Na. Here you go.

She gives him one.

He’s a man—not a boy—grins at me like he knows what I’m thinking. Tattoos on his arm and wrist everywhere his chest back of his neck. How many tattoos you got?

DANE: Twenty-three.

TAMARA: I can only see six.

Muscley too. What you do?

DANE: Play footy, work out and shit.

TAMARA: He smells like beer, smells like a man.

DANE: I’m Dane.

SQUID: Think about you all day—don’t hear from you.

TAMARA: Tamara.

DANE: G’day Tamara.

SQUID: Don’t hear from you. Out of credit?

TAMARA: He doesn’t say call you Tammy or Tam or nothing. Just/

DANE: You look upset.

TAMARA: Kind of. Shit day.

DANE: That’s why you look sad.

SQUID: Call you but. Call all day.

TAMARA: How would you know? You seen me before?

And when he smiles like that it hits me.

They look at each other for some time.

DANE: You sure have grown up.

TAMARA: And I’m about to say all sorts of shit. I’m about to say all sorts of shit but I don’t. I don’t. Nor does he.

DANE winks, leaves.

He gets my mobile number says he’ll use it but he has a few things to take care of.

Old man in pyjamas with a drip in his arm stares at me as I watch Dane go. What? What?

Nurse comes out calls me back in. Says I should go and see Dad.