Before we leave, I approach her. “Well, Brandy,” I say. “Good luck this year.”

“Yeah. You too, Dels.”

As I turn away, I feel a twinge of sadness at Brandy’s use of my old nickname, until I see Ronan grinning at me. He’s holding up an old penny.

“Look!” he says. “I found this wheat penny in the boards. They’re good luck, you know.” Ronan holds it out to me. “Here. I want you to have it.”

I take it from him, even though I know I don’t need that penny. I’m already lucky.

• • •

That night, I crawl into bed, stare at the lucky penny, and think about all the things that make me lucky.

There’s Ronan. But then again, having him as a friend isn’t pure luck; it’s because we gave each other a chance. And soon he’s going to be my neighbor. I can’t think of anything that’s ever happened that has made me so happy. Ronan and his dad living right across from us. It’s like a rainstorm after a drought—and I didn’t even know a friendship like his was missing till I found it.

I’m lucky to have Aimee and Michael, too. And to not care that I don’t have Brandy anymore.

And I’ve always been lucky to have Grammy. My mind flashes back to when I landed in the hospital in the fifth grade with a fever that wouldn’t break.

I remember the nurse telling Grammy it was time to go home. That I would be sleeping and she could come back tomorrow.

I remember the panic that ran through me until she straightened her back and told that nurse, “There isn’t anything on God’s green earth that’s gonna make me leave my Delsie.”

The woman opened her mouth to say something else, but Grammy interrupted her. “And if you are going to tell me that you’re calling security, well, take a look at me and ask yourself how many officers it’s going to take to move me. You’ll need the National Guard and a helicopter and a tank and maybe a bunch of horses. Because I’m not leaving my baby’s side, no matter what you or anyone else says.”

I think about those two words. My baby. Not this baby or a baby but my baby.

They let her stay, and we watched Let’s Make a Deal. Grammy gave all kinds of advice, and we laughed about the man dressed like a cow in a tutu. I laugh to myself about Grammy making a fuss. And the expression on the nurse’s face when Grammy talked about tanks and helicopters.

I know.

I know that I will wonder. I will always wonder what it would have been like to grow up with my mother. But I also know that, no matter what, I’d never trade my grammy and our life together for whatever is behind door number two.

Chapter 46