“You always call your tea ‘that nourishing tea,’ but it’s nothing but water and a bunch of dried leaves. That doesn’t seem nourishing to me.”

Esme throws her head back and laughs. “You know, that’s a very fair question, and I feel silly for never having explained it to you, sugar pop.”

“Explained what?”

“‘That nourishing tea’ is something my mother used to call it. I asked her a similar question when I was about your age, and she told me something I’ve never forgotten. When people are sad about things. Or lonely. Or angry. Or confused. Or any of the emotions that we people would rather avoid, they sometimes try to chase those feelings away with the wrong things. But a good cup of tea can make us feel so much better.”

“Wow, your mom really liked tea.”

She laughs a bit. “It isn’t the tea, Delsie. It’s that tea is so often shared. That’s when friends lean forward and look each other in the eye. They laugh. They do more than hear; they listen. They connect, and anything that matters in this whole . . . wide . . . world is about connection. It’s what makes all the hard stuff I talk about bearable.”

I nod.

She leans forward and places her hand on my arm. “Visiting with good friends like you, Delsie.”

I know that’s supposed to make me happy and I should agree, but I can’t get what’s caught in my throat unstuck.

I stand up. “I have to go. Grammy is probably wondering where I am.”

Her face questions me.

There’s so much I can’t say. I can’t tell her how Madre Seal coming back makes me curl up and pull the covers under my chin at night. I can’t tell her one of my best friends has chosen a new best friend. And I can’t tell Esme that I don’t want her to be my friend; I want her and Henry to be my mom and dad. I’m glad they love me, but it feels like having the light of the sun but not its warmth.

• • •

It’s been cloudy all day. Now when I step outside, rain begins to hit the ground like missiles. But nothing is going to stop me from training for the 5K run.

I do a few stretches to warm up, thinking about the clouds. How they get darker and darker as they collect more water molecules inside of them. Then when the moisture gets to be too much, and the cloud gets too heavy, they fall to earth as rain. I feel like that lately. Heavy. Like everything is building up and will end in some kind of storm.

I study the abandoned house across from us. I wonder why the people left it behind. Did they figure out it wasn’t a good house? Did they find a better one? Do they ever think about it now?

I begin my run. Hoping I can outrun being so lonely.