MAN: Fearfully—

WOMAN: Okay! Call a spade a spade. Although, the “Siberian Shaman”—is that new?

MAN: Sure. I’m new.

WOMAN: Really! But that’s…you are different. There’s an air almost about you…

MAN: The man who survived Siberia. Meaning District Nine.

WOMAN: Tell me about it!

MAN: I don’t think I have to.

WOMAN: I just didn’t think things like that ever got back to people.

MAN: Behind-the-back things.

WOMAN: Long as we’re promoting candor!

MAN: Like how did old Wild Bill get wind of—

WOMAN: Yeah—have you got a snitch?

MAN: He didn’t.

WOMAN: What.

MAN: I don’t think he’s heard it. But I have. Because I’m not him.

WOMAN: Who.

MAN: Bill Jenks.

WOMAN:…You’re not Bill Jenks.

MAN: But wait a minute—wait a minute. I do know Bill Jenks—I spent forty-five minutes with him yesterday in his office. The Legless Snake himself. And I do agree I look like him.

WOMAN: Huh. Well.

Pause.

MAN: I’m down from Washington.

WOMAN: Sure…Are you District? Regional?

MAN: I’m Washington. I’m National.

WOMAN: Wow. You’re not an Undersecretary or something.

MAN: No. I just report to a few. Chalmers…and Don Astasio…and Tina Ray.

WOMAN: Coffee! A warm-up…

MAN: And I’m kind of embarrassed to say I think I know your—

WOMAN (overlapping): How did you—don’t be embarrassed—

MAN:—so I know about your situation.

Pause.

WOMAN: Oh.

MAN: Hey. So now it’s your turn not to be embarrassed.

Pause.

WOMAN: Well, if you know, you know.

MAN: That’s the spirit!

WOMAN: Really? What is the spirit? I mean, that’s—I don’t even know. Do you know the story of Madame Butterfly? The opera?

MAN: I’m not sure it’s an opera, exactly.

WOMAN: Does it have something to do with a man—who has an affair—with a man dressed up as a woman? I mean, for twenty-five years or something?

MAN: Wow. No. I mean sure, possibly, it might, for all I know. I don’t know.

WOMAN: Sure. Well—(Pause.) The Siberian Shaman. That’s a new one. Why do they call him—

MAN: Jenks? Jenks got religion.

WOMAN: I think he was always something.

MAN: You mean like—

WOMAN:—something religious. Like he took it seriously.

MAN: After the transfer, he took it to another level. To a point well beyond seriously. Now for the last couple years he’s been shepherd to his own little flock.

WOMAN: Really! You mean a pastor, a minister? Or…

MAN: Yeah, a shaman. He’s applied for tax-exempt status.

WOMAN: Everybody you look at has some terrible secret, don’t they?

MAN: He came to work this morning in a white minivan with lettering on the door that says “Worldwide Fellowship—Children of Jehovah.”…You seem nervous.

WOMAN: I’d say I’m more a combination of stimulated and anxious.

MAN: Well, that would add up to…nervous.

WOMAN: (overlapping): Nervous. But it’s more as if I’m primed for this thing, I’m pumped, I’m ready, and at the same time I’m worried—

MAN: You’ll do fine.

WOMAN:—more and more every minute.

MAN: It’s one session and you’re done. What’s to worry about? Riggs?…You’re not worried about Riggs—