“No, I do! That would be lovely,” I say hastily.

I can’t hurt Suze. But I’m feeling that same weird, twisting-in-my-stomach feeling as before. Trying to ignore it, I take a pair of boots off the nearest rack and Suze hands me some socks.

“These are nice.” I slip them on. They’re brown with a black laser-cut design and fit me perfectly. “Good size too. There we are. Done.” I try to smile.

Suze stands in her socks, holding two pairs of boots in her hands, her eyes narrowed.

“That’s it?”

“Er…yes.”

“Aren’t you going to try any more on?”

“Well…” I run my eyes over the boots, trying to feel like I used to. Boots! I tell myself. Suze wants to buy me some cool boots! Yay!

But it all feels false to my own ears. When it’s Suze trying them on, I get all excited for her—but when it’s me, somehow it’s different. To show willing, I quickly pull down a turquoise pair and slide my feet inside. “These are nice too.”

“Nice?”

“I mean…” I cast around for the right word. “Gorgeous. They’re gorgeous.” I nod, trying to look enthusiastic.

“Bex, stop it!” says Suze in distress. “Be normal! Be excited!”

“I am excited!” I retort—but even I can tell I’m not convincing.

“What’s happened to you?” Suze gazes at me, her face pink with agitation.

“Nothing!”

“It has! You’ve gone strange! You’ve gone all—” She stops herself suddenly. “Wait. Are you in debt, Bex? Because I’m paying for this—”

“No, I’m not in debt, for once. Look…” I rub my face. “I’ve slightly gone off shopping. That’s all.”

“You’ve gone off shopping?” Suze drops both pairs of boots with a thud.

“Just a bit. You know. For myself. I mean, I love buying Minnie things, and Luke….Look, you buy yourself a pair of boots.” I smile at her. “I’ll get some another time.” I pick up the boots she dropped and proffer them. “They look fabulous.”

But Suze doesn’t move a muscle. She’s staring at me warily.

“Bex, what’s up?” she asks at last.

“Nothing,” I answer at once. “I just—you know. Everything’s been a bit stressy, I suppose….”

“You seem flat,” she says slowly. “I didn’t notice it before. I’ve been too wrapped up in—” She halts. “I wasn’t taking notice of you.”

“There’s nothing to take notice of. Look, Suze, I’m fine.”

There’s silence. Suze is still regarding me with that wary look. Then she comes over, grabs my arms, and stares into my face.

“OK, Bex, what do you want most of all in life right now? Not only things, but, like, experiences. A holiday. A job. An ambition—anything!”

“I…well…”

I try to summon up some kind of desire. But it’s weird. It’s like that place inside me is hollow.

“I just want…everyone to be healthy,” I say lamely. “World peace. You know. Usual stuff.”

“You’re not right.” Suze releases my arms. “I don’t know what’s up with you.”

“What, because I don’t want a pair of cowboy boots?”