Come on. If I can follow DVD box sets about serial killers, surely I can follow this story? Maybe I’ll think of it like a box set. With episodes. Yes. Good idea.

Episode 1: Dad, Corey, Brent, and Raymond were on a road trip and met a beautiful girl called Rebecca Miades in a bar. Corey fell for Rebecca in a big way, but she went off with Brent instead.

(So far, so good.)

Episode 2: Corey never got over Rebecca. (Fast-forward: He even called his first daughter Rebecca. And his first wife found out and called him obsessed and left him.) When Brent and Rebecca broke up, Corey made a renewed pitch for Rebecca, but she played him around and then went back to Brent.

(I think I’m still following….)

Episode 3: Brent and Rebecca had an on–off relationship for some years and had a baby, also called Rebecca.

(I’ve met her! The girl on the steps of the trailer who called me “princess girl.” I kind of understand why she was so hostile now, although she did not have to say I have a “prinky prinky voice.”)

Episode 4: Dad knew Rebecca had played Corey around and decided she was bad news. So when Mum insisted they call me Rebecca, he didn’t want to.

Episode 5: Meanwhile, they’d all lost touch, because they didn’t have Facebook and phones were expensive or whatever.

(You do have to feel sorry for the older generation. I mean, all this “pay phones” and “telegrams” and “airmail.” How did they cope?)

Episode 6: Then Corey started making big money. Dad got his first check from Corey and just assumed Brent was loaded too. Little did he realize that Corey had deliberately cheated Brent out of everything because of his raging jealousy over Rebecca.

(Again, if they’d only had Facebook. Or, you know, ever called each other, ever.)

Episode 7: Years later, Dad found out that Brent was penniless. He was so shocked, he flew to the States and saw Brent, but it didn’t go well, and then Brent disappeared. So he co-opted Tarquin and Bryce as fellow musketeers, and headed off to see Corey. But Corey wouldn’t even take his call, let alone have a meeting.

(Which makes me hate Corey even more. How could anyone refuse to see my dad?)

Episode 8, Season Finale: So, Brent’s probably homeless, but Corey doesn’t care. Raymond just hides away on his ranch. And no one knows where Brent is, and—

“Wait!” I cry suddenly. “Rebecca!”

How could I have got so distracted that I forgot about Rebecca?

“Dad, did you know she works here?” My words tumble out in excitement. “Rebecca-who-I’m-not-named-after works in this very hotel! She’s here!” I flail my hands. “Rebecca! Here!”

“Love, I know.” Dad looks perplexed. “That’s why I’m here. That’s why I came to Sedona.”

“Oh,” I say, feeling stupid. “Of course.”

“She’s been away, but she’s due back today.” Dad gestures around the seating area. “That’s why I’ve been waiting here.”