Dad closes his eyes as though in disbelief. “Becky, I told you not to, I told you to go home—”

“We were worried about you, don’t you understand?” I yell. “We were worried!”

All sorts of emotions are pushing their way through me, like hot lava through a volcano. I’m not sure if I feel relieved or happy or furious or I want to scream. Tears are on my face, I suddenly realize, but I have no idea how they got here. “You just went off,” I say, breathing fast. “You left us.”

“Oh, Becky.” He holds out his arms. “Love. Come here.”

“No.” I shake my head furiously. “You can’t just…Do you know what a state Mum’s been in? Mum!” I scream. “Muuuuuum!”

A moment later there’s an almighty clatter of beads as Mum, Janice, and Minnie all pile through the curtain.

“GRAHAM?”

I have literally never heard anything so shrill as Mum’s voice. It’s like a train whistle. We all flinch, and I can hear more chairs scraping as people turn to watch.

As she approaches Dad, her eyes are sparking with fury and her nostrils are flared.

“Where have you BEEN?”

“Jane,” says Dad, looking alarmed. “Now, Jane, I told you I had a little errand—”

“Little errand? I thought you were DEAD!” She collapses into racking sobs, and Dad throws his arms around her.

“Jane,” he croons. “Jane, my love. Jane, don’t worry.”

“How can I not worry?” Mum’s head jerks back like a cobra’s. “How can I not worry? I’m your WIFE!” She swings her arm and slaps Dad across the cheek.

Oh my God. I’ve never seen Mum hit Dad before. I feel quite shocked. Thankfully, Minnie is playing with the beaded curtain, so I don’t think she saw anything.

“Um, Minnie,” I say hastily. “Grandpa and Grana need to…er…talk.”

“Don’t you ever, ever disappear again.” Now Mum is clinging to Dad, tears running down her face. “I thought I was a widow!”

“She did,” confirms Janice. “She was looking up her insurance policies.”

“A widow?” Dad gives a shout of incredulous laughter.

“Don’t you laugh at me, Graham Bloomwood!” Mum looks like she might wallop Dad again. “DON’T YOU DARE!”

“Come on, sweetheart.” I grab Minnie’s hand and push through the beaded curtain, my heart still thumping. A moment later, Janice joins me and we look at each other in disbelief.

“What’s up?” says Suze, turning from the front desk. “What’s your mum yelling about? She’s not on about the correct pronunciation of ‘scone’ again, is she?”

Mum once took Suze and me out to tea at a posh hotel and had an altercation with a member of staff about how to say “scone,” and Suze has never forgotten it.

“No,” I say, feeling almost hysterical. “She’s not. Suze, you will not believe this….”

—

It takes two large Arizona Breezes to calm me down. (Gin, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice—delicious.) So God knows how many drinks Mum will need. Dad’s here. We’ve found him. After all our searching, all our angst…he was just calmly sitting in an armchair, reading the paper. I mean…what?