Pierre Musgrove: a sculptor whose glittering future recedes daily, Pierre reserves his artistry for ever more fiendish ways of annoying Rose.

Ceci Musgrove: 13, their perfect only child.

The Musgroves live at The Dairy, which is tended by Rose’s much-coveted daily, Joan.

Catherine Cobb: California-born superwoman, mother of four, châtelaine of Court Place, and owner-manager of the breath-takingly swanky Court Place Farm Shop.

Granville Cobb: the husband and bankroller of the above.

Serena Cobb: the blonde daughter with vanity job in magazine PR.

The Cobbs also have three sons, Hector, Marco and Florian, and also live in Gstaad, Tuscany and California, even though the super-rich can only ever be in one super-prime property at any one time.

Ned Bryanston: local landowner, living on capital, with an expensive second wife.

Lulu Bryanston: former model-actress-whatever, Lulu now wrangles literary figures for display at her annual writers’ shindig, the GodLitFest.

Jesse Marlon Bryanston: Ned’s first son by his starter marriage to Judith (now called Jude, a poet and a lesbian).

Little Ned and Fred Bryanston: 11; spoilt twins by Ned and out of Lulu, although she annoyingly looks much too young and buff to have had one child, let alone twins.

Celia Bryanston: Ned Bryanston’s widowed mother, who takes dowagery spikiness to the next level.

All the Bryanstons except Jesse Marlon live at Godminster Hall.

Sir Michael Hutton: ancient and crusty baronet, married but without issue to Lady Elizabeth.

The Huttons’ ancestral seat plus estates measureless to man is at Hutton Hall, Hutton.

Virginie Lacoste: stone-cold French superfox and children’s culotte magnate who never regrettes rien.

Mathieu Lacoste: her colourless walkover of a husband who is big in L’Oréal.

The Lacostes have three children, Guy, Capucine and Clementine, who love their nanny, NouNou, much more than their parents.

The Lacostes live in Lonsdale Gardens, London, W11.

Clare Sturgis: Mimi’s former neighbour in Notting Hill, Clare is a garden designer and elderly primigravida who bought the shabby Fleming house on the communal garden from Ralph, mainly to install her housekeeper and nanny in.

Joe Sturgis: her toddler son, whom Clare and successful architect husband Gideon are currently failing to enrol in the impregnable Ponsonby Prep, alma mater of Mirabel, Posy and Cas (as well as the adorable scions of many Notting Hill haves and have-yachts).

The Sturgises live in Colville Crescent, London, WII.

Sophy Mills: a hippie herbalist and single mother of

Noah Mills: a teething baby of indeterminate paternity and

Spike Mills: 13, a well-adjusted pupil at Acland’s who is ‘friendboy’ to Mirabel and Ceci.

The Mills family live in the eco-village Spodden’s Hatch, in a pitchy yurt near the handmade house of Jesse Marlon Bryanston, who also dwells there.

Gwenda Melplash: known as Scary Gwenda, and preferring horses to humans, Miss Melplash lives in jodhpurs and cracks the whip at Honeyborne Stables and Livery Yard.

Colin Watts: adopted son of the butchers, Colin is a local log-supplier who has his own van, ergo is one of the most eligible males for literally miles around.