“Don’t escape. Stay with me.”

“I’m right here,” she said with a little laugh.

“Then keep looking at me.” He nudged her with his erection. “Say my name.”

She laughed again.

He did not.

Her smile faded. “You mean…now?”

“You said you want to connect, then connect with me.” He made another pass at her nipple with his thumb and her eyes drifted shut on a sigh.

And just like that, his hand was gone.

Her eyes opened. “I’m sorry, I…” Can’t, she realized. She’d experienced her fair share of lovers, both devoted and otherwise, but never in her life had she been completely swept away by a man. Sex was an escape. She never kept her eyes open. Never whispered a name.

Not even for him.

“It’s me, Red,” he said roughly. “Me, goddamnit.”

He didn’t understand that only made it more difficult, not less. With him, she could really fall, and that terrified her because the fall would be harsh. The fall would hurt.

You couldn’t climb back up from the fall.

Joe stared at her, clearly waiting for her to say something, and when she didn’t, couldn’t, he wrenched free and blew out a breath.

“Joe—”

“I know. You just want the oblivion of it. I know.” He shoved his fingers into his hair and turned in a circle. “I wanted that too. I thought I could, but I can’t.” He turned away, reached for the door. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re going to go?” she asked in disbelief as she sat there halfway to orgasmic bliss. “Just…run away? Really?”

Letting go of the door handle, he came back to her, slid his hands up her hips and gripped hard. “You think I’m the one running?” One arm slid around her and brought her up against his body. The other cupped her breast. Her entire body quivered, and with a sigh, she sank into him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

He went utterly still, then pulled free again, leaving her to sag back against the sink. “Let’s be clear, Red. You’re the one who runs when I touch you. You’re the one hiding.”

“No. I want you.”

“You want the kick, not the intimacy.”

Okay, yes, damn it, she wanted the kick. And maybe, deep down, something more. Just a little. But she needed some help here because it was harder, much harder to accept than she’d expected. And hell if she’d admit that while he stared angrily at her. Hell if she’d admit how badly she needed him when all she ever did these days was beg the people in her life to want her. She was sick of that, sick of it.

“So what now?” he asked wearily.