“Are the spots still dancing?” He shifted his face even closer as if he could see them himself.

“No.”

He relaxed slightly but remained close enough that she could have counted the gold flecks swimming in his whiskey-colored eyes, or each individual thick eyelash. She could see the inch-long scar above his eyebrow, which she knew was courtesy of taking a flying leap out of his father’s hands and into their TV set. He had other scars, too, and each of them had broken her heart.

Just, as she suspected, she’d once broken his.

She wanted to make that up to him, wanted him to smile at her, feel the warmth and affection he’d once had for her. God, she needed that from him. “It’s…not as bad in here as I thought.”

“Well, the bathroom’s gone. That’s where the fire started. But this room…” He looked around. “It’s actually salvageable. The back is trashed though, needs new flooring, paint, and there’s a lot of water damage—” He took a look at her face and broke off. “And you don’t need to hear this right now, I’m sorry. Why are you here, Red?”

“I told you, I was just in the neighborhood—”

“Truth.”

Because I’m lost. Floundering. My foundation’s slipped.

He didn’t rush to fill in her silence, but waited her out. Silence had never bothered him the way it had her. “I wanted to tell you another secret,” she said.

“Do I have to tell you one first?” he asked cautiously.

Such a guy. “No, this is a freebie. I told you I came back to Ocean Beach for my mom. Remember?”

“Yes.”

“And I really thought that was it, but now I don’t think that’s the whole truth.” She looked around. The soot and water were pervasive and depressing. “I came for me too. I needed to connect. Emotionally.”

He stared at her. “Have you been talking to Kenny?”

“What?”

“Never mind. Go on.”

“That’s all I’ve got.” She shrugged. “Only there’s a problem. When it comes to actually executing the emotional connections I think I want, I keep screwing up. I’m pretty sure I’m doing it on purpose.”

“Maybe you’re not ready.”

“Maybe.” She shot him a smile. “I guess I’d kind of hoped you’d say that I haven’t screwed anything up at all, especially between us.”

“You haven’t. But you have to see that yourself.”

“So we’re really okay?” She looked at him, so big and tough and brutally honest, and had to ask. “We’re really going to be friends again?”