It was then that he brought a packet of lukewarm and probably highly dodgy sausages from the shed and started to grill them on a long fork over the fire. He’d swear every now and again as the fat spit back on his arm, then giggle and apologize to Gracie. They all ate, burning their lips and risking food poisoning, but Marty thought those were the best sausages he’d ever tasted in his life.

THIRTEEN

“MARTY, MARTY, MARTY! I tried my best to cover for you, but she’s hunting for you.”

It was Mr. Garraway in a spectacularly tight tracksuit that made his body look like one of those sausage-y balloons used to make animal shapes. He’d run along the corridor to catch up with Marty and was now leaning his hands on his knees breathlessly. Marty really didn’t understand why someone so unfit would have such a liking for sportswear or teaching PE. He was absolutely and utterly unsuited to it. Marty had really meant to hand in some work, he really had, it was just he hadn’t quite got around to it.

“She’s on your case!” he was hissing through his teeth now. Marty looked up at him.

“I’m sorry?”

“She’s on your case. The big bag wolf. Boss woman. You know … I told you to hand in some work. Anyway, she’s caught wind of it and bing bang bosh she’s baying for your blood like some horrible hairy werewolf…”

Mr. Garraway obviously hadn’t heard the scrape and clack of Miss James’s listless heels in the corridor, because by now she was standing behind him.

“I just wanted to warn you, that’s all…”

“Ah-hem.”

Mr. Garraway froze and turned the color of underbaked pastry. He looked at Marty in panic.

“She’s behind me, isn’t she?”

Marty nodded imperceptibly.

“Yes, Mr. Garraway, she is. The, erm … hairy werewolf, as you call her, is right here…”

Mr. Garraway turned on his heels, feigned a wide smile, and tried to bluff his way out.

“Heh, of course, when I said hairy werewolf, I wasn’t, of course, referring to yourself…”

“Nigel, please”—Miss James dismissed him with a death stare—“I need to talk to young Mr. Marty here…”

Mr. Garraway had started nodding and bowing as he circled gingerly around Miss James and ran away up the corridor. Miss James gestured to Marty with her head and marched him along the corridor and into the office.

She sat, folded her fingers together on the desk, and gave him a terrifyingly challenging look.

“It seems despite some warnings that you still haven’t handed in any work, young man. I mean, forgetfulness is one thing, blatant disobedience is another.”

She was quiet for a while. Considered him. Then she came in with a deadly blow.

“I’d like to add your mother to my list of appointments on parents’ evening.”