Back Secrets and Shadows
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. Also by
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Part Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Chapter Five
  14. Chapter Six
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chapter Seventeen
  26. Chapter Eighteen
  27. Chapter Nineteen
  28. Chapter Twenty
  29. Chapter Twenty-one
  30. Chapter Twenty-two
  31. Chapter Twenty-three
  32. Chapter Twenty-four
  33. Chapter Twenty-five
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-six
  36. Chapter Twenty-seven
  37. Chapter Twenty-eight
  38. Chapter Twenty-nine
  39. Chapter Thirty
  40. Chapter Thirty-one
  41. Chapter Thirty-two
  42. Chapter Thirty-three

Isobel went on, trying to be generous and offer Lorna a face-saving escape route at the same time. ‘We lead a more child-friendly existence than you do so it’s easier for us. Giles has talked to our lawyer about it and we’re both agreed that we could give Rory a secure base – a real home. I’d never try to cut him off completely from you, and it could only be with your full agreement – but there’d need to be several conditions from our point of view, and they would have to be legally binding. You couldn’t suddenly demand him back on a whim. I’m not sure of the legal jargon, but something like Giles as his father having care and control and you having access.’

She could see that Lorna was struggling with herself. Isobel waited, afraid of saying too much, afraid of saying too little. Then Lorna said in a low, passionate voice: ‘I’ve always been useless with children, you know that. They never like me, though I’ll never understand why. God knows I’ve tried. I so envied you yours – even Edward in a funny way. Well, not perhaps Edward himself,’ she amended, ‘but what you seemed able to feel for him in spite of everything.’ Isobel winced but Lorna rushed on, unaware of her sister’s reaction. ‘I’d always thought I wanted a baby for myself – someone to love me best – but from the moment Rory was born it was a disaster. He screamed every time he saw me and was only happy with Mum or the nanny, and I knew that the whole miserable thing of always being second best had started up again. I almost hated him – and he certainly didn’t love me and still doesn’t. These last days since he came back have been a disaster. Now I’m terrified he’ll cause me to lose Brooke – and that I couldn’t bear.’

Isobel looked at her beautiful, talented, tormented sister with pity and thought this was one of the most revealing conversations they’d ever had together – and one of the saddest.

‘But Lorna,’ she said tentatively, ‘are you happy with Brooke? Do you love each other? Is it a good enough relationship to be worth so much?’

‘Oh, love, happiness . . .’ said Lorna bitterly. ‘You sound like Mum. She was always asking me that sort of thing. You of all people should know I’ve only ever loved one man – so what chance have I had to experience a good relationship? I only know I couldn’t bear to lose Brooke now and I certainly don’t intend to. We’re good together – he needs me and the life suits me perfectly. I’d do almost anything to keep my marriage.’

‘Even if it means parting with your child?’