Back Secrets and Shadows
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. Also by
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Part Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Chapter Five
  14. Chapter Six
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chapter Seventeen
  26. Chapter Eighteen
  27. Chapter Nineteen
  28. Chapter Twenty
  29. Chapter Twenty-one
  30. Chapter Twenty-two
  31. Chapter Twenty-three
  32. Chapter Twenty-four
  33. Chapter Twenty-five
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-six
  36. Chapter Twenty-seven
  37. Chapter Twenty-eight
  38. Chapter Twenty-nine
  39. Chapter Thirty
  40. Chapter Thirty-one
  41. Chapter Thirty-two
  42. Chapter Thirty-three

‘Nothing happened. That was it. I woke up feeling awful in a muck sweat.’

‘Ill awful?’

‘No – scared awful. Panicky.’

‘It’s all this rootling about in the past that we’ve been doing,’ said Marnie, hoping to find the right words to comfort Louisa’s obvious disquiet. ‘I don’t think it’s possible to have poked around in the murky waters of childhood traumas and given them such a good old stir, as we’ve been doing, without some of the muck from the bottom coming up to the surface. Morwenna told me she’d been dreaming about her husband for the first time for ages. I’ve been obsessed with thoughts and memories about the Caribbean, but I think it’s probably a good thing. I’ve even dared to try to remember more about Kenneth the pig-man, something I usually try to blank out. We’ve been living in a very intense and rarefied atmosphere lately. Everything’s topsy-turvy, like in those bizarre Chagall postcards that Catherine got us to write about.’

‘I suppose so.’

‘Look,’ said Marnie. ‘Of course you’re afraid of Mr Brown dying, but you told me yourself that he must be near the end of his natural life anyway – has probably outlived the span he’d have achieved in the wild already. You said you were dreading it, but you’re going to have to face it soon so perhaps your subconscious is giving you a prod – reminding you it’s bound to happen sometime so you should try to lighten up about it . . . come to terms with it now before it happens?’

‘That’s a thought. Perhaps you’re right.’ Louisa gave herself a little shake. ‘Yes, of course you are. That helps. Thanks, Marnie.’

They decided to head for the beach and walk along the famous West Sands which, Louisa told Marnie, were the birthplace of golf. A stiffish breeze had got up, sending white-horse waves galloping inshore, but the sun came out at the same time and turned the usually grey North Sea to an almost Mediterranean blue, and they walked for what seemed like miles, losing all idea of time. At one point Marnie was beguiled into kicking off her trainers, rolling up her jeans and paddling – but not for long.

‘Jee-sus!’ she wailed. ‘I’ve lost all sensation in my feet. Are they still there?’

‘You’re not in the Caribbean now,’ said Louisa. ‘Let’s run,’ so they tore back across the beach, laughing and shrieking like a couple of teenagers, their hair wild, their cheeks burned by sun and wind, and felt they had earned their ginger and toffee ice creams at Janetta’s before driving back to Glendrochatt.