Back Secrets and Shadows
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. Also by
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Part Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Chapter Five
  14. Chapter Six
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chapter Seventeen
  26. Chapter Eighteen
  27. Chapter Nineteen
  28. Chapter Twenty
  29. Chapter Twenty-one
  30. Chapter Twenty-two
  31. Chapter Twenty-three
  32. Chapter Twenty-four
  33. Chapter Twenty-five
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-six
  36. Chapter Twenty-seven
  37. Chapter Twenty-eight
  38. Chapter Twenty-nine
  39. Chapter Thirty
  40. Chapter Thirty-one
  41. Chapter Thirty-two
  42. Chapter Thirty-three

‘I don’t know either. It seems to me that knowledge is a luxury we often have to do without. But I do believe in instinct – my mother’s forever telling me I should trust it more – and . . .’ He looked down at her, hoping he was right to trust it now.

‘And what?’

‘And I have this feeling that you and I are meant for each other,’ he said, quietly.

They sat in silence. Marnie, afraid that she might spoil the moment by saying the wrong thing, said nothing for so long that Christopher began to fear he’d been too precipitate and frightened her off.

‘Have I upset you?’ he asked at last. ‘I know we’ve only known each other for a week and that you’ve been very badly hurt, but I just want you to know how I feel. Perhaps that’s selfish, but I promise I’m not going to pressure you, or ask you to make any quick response – let alone a commitment at this stage. Tell me you’re not angry with me.’

‘Angry? How could I be? I think you know I feel the same. But I am very scared by it,’ she admitted. ‘Scared of being hurt again – scared of hurting you. My record’s pretty awful. I find it hard to have faith in anyone and most of all myself. Hard even to trust the idea of happiness. I’m not a good bet for a relationship . . . and I haven’t had one since my last disaster.’ She turned round in his arms to look up at him. ‘This girlfriend with whom you had the blazing row before the crash . . . what’s happened to her?’

‘She gave me the push when I was sent to prison.’

‘And now?’

‘Oh well, now that I’m no longer in trouble,’ he said, ‘she wonders if we should try to get back together again for a bit . . . “just for fun” as she puts it. I’ve told her there’s no way I’d be prepared to do that. I was thinking this morning when we were going round the castle how little she and I have in common now – and how differently I feel about you.’

‘And Louisa?’ she asked, looking down again, and pulling herself gently away from him. ‘Louisa who’s so pretty and amusing and attractive – so socially accomplished – what do you feel about her?’

‘Nothing,’ he said promptly, and then amended it. ‘No, that’s not true or fair. I like her very much. I can see she’s very attractive and she’s all the things you say – but she isn’t you.’

‘She fancies you, though.’