Back Secrets and Shadows
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. Also by
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Part Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Chapter Five
  14. Chapter Six
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chapter Seventeen
  26. Chapter Eighteen
  27. Chapter Nineteen
  28. Chapter Twenty
  29. Chapter Twenty-one
  30. Chapter Twenty-two
  31. Chapter Twenty-three
  32. Chapter Twenty-four
  33. Chapter Twenty-five
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-six
  36. Chapter Twenty-seven
  37. Chapter Twenty-eight
  38. Chapter Twenty-nine
  39. Chapter Thirty
  40. Chapter Thirty-one
  41. Chapter Thirty-two
  42. Chapter Thirty-three

‘Oh, all in longhand. You don’t exactly get to have your own personal laptop in jug, you know! There were computers in the education block, but not for use in free time. You can usually get hold of adequate writing materials though there are a few restrictions – no spiral backed notebooks, and no staples, for instance, in case you might be tempted to use them for some sinister purpose, and you can’t have pens brought in to you from outside in case they’re used for smuggling something. You can get felt-tip pens and pencils and paper in the shop, but paper can disappear at an alarming rate. Popular for lighting spliffs and fags – and there’s the sabotage factor, of course.’

‘Sabotage?’

‘Oh, just petty spite, but a bit frustrating until I learned to play the system. I lost the first few chapters several times.’ He shrugged. ‘Nicked or just vandalised; sometimes it disappeared completely, sometimes it got torn up – or what I’d written was made unreadable by having some pretty colourful additions scrawled all over it. Once I got wise to the hazards, I used to give it to the chaplain for safekeeping, a chapter at a time. He was very helpful.’

‘How awful.’ She looked at him with respect, thinking how un-self-pitying he was. ‘Your background must have been against you,’ she suggested. ‘Were you picked on because of it?’

‘You can be picked on for absolutely anything – but contrary to what you might think I was much better equipped to cope than some.’ He laughed and said lightly, ‘The English private boarding school system is quite good training for prison, you know. If you’ve been away to prep school aged eight and then on to a public school – not to mention a short-service commission in the army when I came down from university – you learn how to look after yourself. How to keep your head down at certain times and especially not to rise if you’re baited – how to laugh it off or give as good as you get without provoking. Of course I was called Mr La-di-da from the first moment I opened my mouth, but in the end it became a not unfriendly nickname.’ He grinned at her. ‘Being over six foot certainly helped a bit too,’ he said.

‘Were you ever really scared?’ she asked.

‘Of course,’ he said soberly. ‘There’s a good deal to be scared about – and not always from the people you’d necessarily suspect. Very unpleasant things can happen. I was lucky. Anyone who’s been to prison and says they were never scared is almost certainly lying.’

She wanted to ask more, but something in his expression made her feel it would be better to change the subject. ‘What are you going to do about your book now?’ she asked. She hoped he might offer to let her read it, but didn’t like to suggest it.