Dirt and ash blow back into my face, leaving gritty residue on my lips.

“Now what?” I raise my voice over the wind. “I’m healed? I should just move on and forget my life ever happened?”

I start to throw another handful, but my strength leaves me. I sink to the ground instead, dropping the ashes. Dr. Layne kneels next to me, her arm around my shoulder.

“Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting,” she says. “It just means letting go of the hurt.”

The dust spirals out of existence as I try to find the words to explain the similar twisting in my chest.

“But the hurt is all I have left,” I say. “When it’s gone, so are they. I’m alone.”

Dr. Layne pulls me closer.

“You’re not alone.”

“Yes, I am. Everyone leaves me. You want to know my first thought when you told me about Piper? I thought, of course. Nobody I love sticks around.” I sweep my arm out, gesturing to the emptiness around us. “It’s all gone. I. Am. Alone.”

“When?” Dr. Layne says, her voice unexpectedly stern. “When have you been alone?”

“Since that very first night. That’s kind of what sole survivor means.”

Dr. Layne’s lips scrunch to one side.

“So in the hospital, surrounded by nurses and doctors who worked to save you? When Cora and Glenn sat by your bed around the clock? When Piper—”

“What about Piper?” I interject. “She’s running for the exit, too.”

“Piper’s not trying to abandon you. She’s hurting. She needs you. So do Cora and Glenn and all the people who love you. They all need you, just like you need Piper to keep fighting.”

“I already told you, I’m not going to do anything drastic.”

“I’m not talking life and death, Ava. I’m saying, are your scars going to keep people out, or let people in?” She touches her face. “You didn’t choose to be burned. Neither did I. I could have stayed angry. I could have pushed everyone away. But I had a choice, just like you have a choice.” She moves her fingers to her chest. “You decide how your scars change you here. You decide how much love you let in. You chose to live that night in the fire, and you need to keep choosing it.”

I stand from the dirt and walk off the concrete slab into the grass, orienting myself to where my bedroom would have been on the second story. I find the spot in the grass and stand in it, facing Dr. Layne.

“I did not choose any of this. My dad pushed me out a window and I landed right here, in a life I did not choose.”

Dr. Layne’s eyebrows furrow, trying to understand.

“You think your dad pushed you?”