Her perfect ocean blue eyes lit up, and she smiled so wide I could see all five hundred of her bleached white teeth. “Great, see you then. Partner,” she added with a wink.

It was official. I hated blondes.

By the time I emailed our story on Pines to Felix, hopped in Cal’s Hummer, and braved the L.A. traffic home, it was late, I was beat, and nothing sounded sweeter than a long, hot meal followed by a long, cool swim.

“You coming in again?” I asked Cal as he pulled the Hummer down Oasis Terrace.

He shrugged. “You need me to?”

Yes.

“No.”

Okay, did I need him? No. Had I enjoyed having someone in the house last night who carried a big scary gun? Yeah. A lot more than I wanted to admit.

“I’ll hang here for a little while, then,” he said, adjusting his seat back and flipping the radio on.

“Suit yourself,” I replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “But,” I added, “no binoculars this time.”

He grinned. Then leaned his head back and slipped on his shades.

I left him at the curb and made my way up the walkway. Unfortunately, as I walked into the house, I quickly realized that whole hot meal thing was a pipe dream.

“What’s that smell?” I asked, wrinkling my nose as I followed the offending odor to the kitchen. On the stove a muddy brown mixture bubbled to a boil in a large pot.

“Your Aunt Sue made goulash,” Aunt Millie proclaimed, shuffling into the kitchen, Aunt Sue a step behind. Millie squinted down into the pot behind her monstrous glasses. “It looks delicious to me.”

That wasn’t saying much.

I got closer to the pot and sniffed. “What did you put in it?”

“All the usual stuff,” Aunt Sue answered. “Onions, potatoes, paprika.”

That didn’t sound so bad.

“Oh, but we were out of beef, so I dumped a can of Spam in instead.”

I felt a gag reflex kick up in the back of my throat.

“Actually, I’m really not that hungry tonight. I think I might just go for a swim.”

“You’re too skinny. You need to eat,” Millie protested.

I looked down at her shrunken form. “I’ll eat later,” I promised.

“Suit yourself,” Aunt Sue replied. “Millie and I are going down to the community room. They got bingo tonight.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?” The idea of the hear-no-good, see-no-good twins gambling didn’t strike me as stellar.

But she waved me off. “Don’t worry, I only got ten bucks in my pocket. The way I play, I’ll be home by the time Jeopardy! comes on.”

“Have a ball,” I said.

“What?”

“Have a ball!”

“Well, sure you can go to the mall! Honey, you’re an adult, you don’t need to ask my permission anymore.” She kissed me on both cheeks.

Swell.