She was clearly heartbroken. He fought with himself. Looking at her, standing on the damp pavement, her face so full of hope, he realized this was something he wanted now, had wanted all along, without knowing it, and it had come at the worst possible time.

‘But I can’t go anywhere right at this moment. It’s very complicated.’

‘Is it the man you’re working for? The fascist, Vernon Rolt? Your father told me.’

‘He did? It’s not how it looks. I’ll be able to explain, but not yet.’

He knew, even as he said it, that the last thing he could do was explain, probably ever.

‘So it’s true, then. In France in the papers they say he’s like Le Pen – even worse. What’s happening to you, Tom? Is this some kind of revenge for what happened with the Regiment?’

What else could he say? There was no explanation that would work right now. He was in too far and too deep. He reached out to her. If he could just get closer, maybe he could communicate how he felt, transmit the truth of his emotions without using words. But she pulled away.

‘I’m sorry, Tom. I’m sorry for this country, which I did love. And I’m sorry for you.’

She turned and walked briskly towards Piccadilly. He knew it was useless to follow.

Chapter 71

71

Westford Airfield, Oxfordshire

‘And that’s everything?’ Mandler peered at Tom over his half-glasses, his arms tightly folded over his chest.

‘Chapter and verse.’ Well, sort of: he’d glossed over some of the more extreme moments and left out any mention of the Clements connection. He wasn’t going to share that with the group. It had to be for Mandler’s ears only.

‘Quite a frantic little city break you seem to have had.’

As Tom sat down he scanned the listeners. There were seven of them round the table: Woolf on his immediate left, looking like he had neither slept nor changed his clothes while Tom had been away; Rafiq and Cindy, his sidekicks, whom he had contrived to keep from being reassigned; and Deakin and Brandeis, a pair of geeky analysts on loan from MI6 for their expertise in US affairs. The draughty hangar groaned and creaked in the wind.

‘Was it really necessary to dispatch Carter?’ asked Mandler.

‘He dispatched himself.’

‘And if he hadn’t?’

Tom gave Mandler a cold look. They both knew the answer to that one.

‘Either way, you risked blowing your cover.’

‘My judgement at the time was that it was worth the risk. Beth was killed because she’d asked him about Zuabi. Kyle Pope decided I had to die because I’d heard the same name. For God’s sake, Zuabi’s connection to Stutz is one that people are prepared to kill to hide.’