“You’ve got to be careful in the sun. It’s dangerous. Do you have any sun screen?”

He didn’t give me time to answer and offered me his. I rubbed it all over my body, thanked him, and gave it back.He started right in again:

“Your back. You forgot to rub some on your back. Turn around, I’ll help you ... when it comes to your back ... it’shard to ...”

I did as he asked. He put his left hand on my shoulder and started to rub his sun screen across my back with his righthand. It didn’t take long. Maybe a minute at most.

“What’s your name?

“Abdellah.”

“I’m Salim.”

“Are you Moroccan?”

“Yes!”

“Then how come you speak French?”

“Because I live in Paris. I don’t know any Arabic.”

“You mean, you don’t even know a single word in Arabic?”

“Well, maybe four or five ... tops ...”

“And you don’t miss that ... speaking your country’s language, your first country’s language?”

“No, I really don’t! How about you, where did you learn French?”

“My French isn’t very good, I know that. I still make a lot of mistakes. I learned it in school, like everybody else.”

“What are you doing here, alone in Tangiers?”

“Vacation. I’m on vacation with my little brother who’s playing soccer over there and my big brother who’s gone toTetouan for the day.”

“So you’re alone then?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Do you want to go somewhere, just the two of us?”

“Where?”

“Maybe the movies.”

“There’s a theater at the entrance to the medina. It’s called the Mauritanya.”

“I know it. Do you want to head there and watch a movie?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I love movies ... But there’s a problem ... my little brother'”

“He can stay here and play soccer. We won’t be gone very long, two hours at the most.”

“We’ll take a taxi back to the beach.”

“Alright. I’ll tell him.”

Saturday

I feel sick, sick, sick.

I am a traitor.

I have betrayed Abdelkébir.

At the movies, with Salim.

And the worst is that, I loved it, loved having this 40 year old man who smelled good wrap me in his strong arms andtalk French in my ear while he tried to get at my penis, my ass.And I let him. And it didn’t hurt. Oh, I loved it. Yes. Oh God!

I feel sick. I want to stay in bed all day.