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Back Salt and Sugar Save as PDF
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. EPILOGUE
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

“How do you know that?” he asks.

Maybe I’ve crossed the line. I shouldn’t speak for Pedro. But Seu Romário looks at me so expectantly, like someone who’s grasping at straws, and I can’t help it. “The same way you knew Grandma’s favorite flowers,” I say, and I see the spark of realization behind his eyes.

I came to the cemetery feeling so confused, but I wonder if maybe Grandma led Seu Romário to me, so she could be there for me, when I couldn’t hear her through all the pain. To explain that she was just trying to keep me and Mom safe.

Seu Romário glances at Grandma’s and Dad’s graves and there’s a tenderness in his eyes that renews my hope for the future. The feud could end one day. I just know it.

“Thank you for the way you loved Grandma and Dad,” I say.

He suddenly starts sobbing. I wish I knew what to say. What to do to comfort him. But now that I know the way he truly feels, I don’t smother my own tears like the night he tried giving us his condolences. We cry together.

“It’s true!” he admits. “I love her, and could never tell her I did! And I loved Gabriel like a son. That’s why I’m doomed to carry the guilt of losing them both for the rest of my life!”

He can’t catch his breath, and I stand beside him, worried about his blood pressure. His crying has turned into something more painful. Something that looks like it’s gnawing inside his ribcage, kept trapped who knows for how long. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands, trying to encourage him to stay calm, to not let his grief overwhelm him for the sake of his health.

“Let me bring you some water,” I suggest.

But he shakes his head no. “I lost them!” he cries again.

“You didn’t lose them,” I say, and I can hear the heartache in my voice. “Grandma’s illness and Dad’s accident took them. Please, don’t blame yourself for things we can’t control.”

He shakes his head again, still having a hard time speaking. “I failed her! And I failed Gabriel! I—I sent my own godson away!”

Godson?! I’m so stunned, I stare at him, unable to say another word.

He grabs on to the edges of Dad’s grave like he’s afraid the earth will open up under him. “He’s dead! He’s dead...because of me!”

41

SUNDAY, JUNE 19

“Dad was Seu Romário’s godson?!” No matter how calm I tried to become on the way home from the cemetery, the words burst out of me as soon as I see Mom in Salt’s kitchen.