“You’ll fit in,” Mom’s voice rises a little, like I spoke nonsense. “You’re your father’s daughter. A talent like his, like yours, is a great asset to any school. This university would be lucky to have you. You’ll be the first Ramires to go to college.”

Sometimes I feel like that’s all we have left. These college plans she wants me to fulfill. The milestone in our family. Without it, I worry there’s nothing left that ties us together.

When I joined the club, part of me hoped that learning to cook could act as a bridge between us. So I could finally bake side by side with Mom in Salt’s kitchen. Like it was all that simple. A matter of working on a recipe together.

But now...

How can I tell her the truth? That all this time I’ve been trying to connect with her, the more I’ve distanced myself from her plans for my future?

Mom parks the car and we begin our walking tour. I follow her around, a bit dazed, as she points out the different buildings. I realize she’s rehearsed a little for this trip.

She takes me to a lake on campus. There are picnic tables nearby, and she points at a spot under one of them. When I crouch down next to her, I see G + A carved into it.

“Gabriel and Alice?!” I say with a gasp.

Mom’s eyes are bright with saudades. “This is where your father and I met,” she says.

Mom tells me that when she was my age, her friends often hung out near this lake. And that’s where she met Dad. He was only seventeen and he had lied about his age to get a job as a gardener on campus so he could linger by the classroom windows and listen to lectures.

It was his dream to go to college, but without a high school degree, he couldn’t even apply to take the entrance exams. When students went to buy their study sheets at the Xerox room, he’d pretend to be one of them, so he could read the material, too. That’s how he honed his talent in mathematics.

“As an economics student, you’ll be taking most of your classes here,” she says, proudly pointing at a building where students step in and out in a constant stream. “Gabriel dreamed of this building day and night. Isn’t it amazing to think you’ll be studying here soon?”

I listen to her, perplexed. I’d never known these things about him. More clearly than ever, I understand why Mom puts so much pressure on me to finish Dad’s plans. So his dreams weren’t for nothing.

I feel a deep twinge in my chest. Guilt. How do I tell Mom this isn’t what I want? She’ll be so disappointed in me...