“I’m only leaving you physically, Peter,” she said. “I’m not leaving to find someone else. I’m utterly in love with you and nothing is going to change that. If you turn religious, I’ll be waiting. If you don’t, so be it. It’s my problem, not yours. That’s how I can rationalize…sleeping with you. I’ve been thinking of it for a long time.”

“You have?”

She nodded.

“You know it would have helped me along if you would have mentioned that there was a possibility.”

She reddened like a boiled lobster.

“It wasn’t something I was comfortable talking to you about. I was afraid that if you knew I was wavering, that would be it. I’d give in.”

“Would that have been so terrible?”

“Of course not! Emotionally, it would have been wonderful, but morally…Peter, premarital sex isn’t that big a deal in Judaism, but it’s something that religious women just don’t do.”

“So why now?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m leaving, but I think it’s because I’ve finally decided that you’re the only man in my life, period. If we do get married, you’ll be my husband anyway. If we don’t, I’m still not going to marry someone else, so it’s not like I’m being unfaithful to a future husband. Besides, I’m sick of postponing gratification indefinitely. I’m sick of being righteous all the time.”

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” he said softly. “Believe it or not, I had this idealized image in my mind of what it was going to be like, and it wasn’t under this set of circumstances. Love you and poof, you’re gone.”

“I have to go. We both need time to ourselves.”

He cupped her chin. “If you need time away from me, then go. But don’t think you’ll escape my clutches. If you settle in New York, I’ll follow you. If you move to Israel, I’ll follow you there. We’re basheert.”

“I know that.”

“Good,” he said, kissing her forehead. “You’re all packed up?”

“The van left the yeshiva this morning.” Her eyes swelled with tears. “Amazing how little time it took them to pack everything.”

“You’ve left your imprint, my dear. Believe me.” He gently eased the kerchief from her head and a wave of jet black hair rolled down her back. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

“Yes.”

Decker raised his brows. “What did they say?”

“They were stunned. They didn’t say anything. We left it at that.”

“You’re taking the red-eye out tomorrow night?”

She nodded.

“I’ll drive you to the air—.”

“No,” she interrupted. “My parents will drive me…I don’t do well with airport good-byes, Peter. I’d rather you didn’t drive me.”

“Okay.”

“So I guess this is it.”