A few weeks ago, Miranda had seemed to be the solution to a problem. Everyone always thought Parker was such a player. That he was getting some left, right, and center. The truth was that he had never done any of the things they thought. Nothing more than a few drunken kisses. And when he looked around school, it seemed like even the loneliest, ugliest losers were still managing to hook up.

If the talk turned to sex, Parker said as little as possible, trying to let a smirk and a shrug hint at his imaginary expertise. And because Parker was a golden boy, people believed it. A few girls even let people think that something had gone on between them. But the more his reputation grew, the more his confidence shrank. What if some girl expected something from him that he didn’t even know how to do?

He and Miranda grew up only two blocks apart. The school boundary, however, falls between their houses. During summers when they were little, they played at the same park while their moms sat on a bench and gossiped. But as they got older, they saw each other less and less.

Then Parker had run into Miranda at a party, begging people for Oxy or, failing that, money for Oxy. Hinting that she would do anything for more of those round yellow pills.

Parker saw an opening. They could help each other out. And keep their mouths shut afterward.

He arranged for her to come over the next day after school, when his parents were at work and Moxie was on a playdate. Even though they were alone, he still started at every noise. Everything was both fake and too real.

Now, as he cradles his phone, the only light in the dark storeroom, Parker asks himself what he expected to feel after. Taller? Überconfident? Able to get with any girl he wanted?

But really he just wishes it had never happened. He gave her an extra hundred to make sure she kept it a secret. Still, he was worried. What if she laughed about him with those druggie friends of hers? What if she told people the truth?

Because the truth is that he doesn’t know any more than he did before that afternoon. He doesn’t know what would make Miranda smile, let alone gasp.

It wasn’t like he did anything bad to her. That’s what Parker has told himself until today. She just lay there, but she didn’t say no. She didn’t say anything at all. Just closed her eyes and let him do whatever he wanted. Maybe it would have been better if he’d been drunk. Or she had one of those Oxys floating through her system, making her mellow and loose.

Now he sees himself for who he really is. There’s not much he can do to fix things, but …