“The clincher was the fact that Sheldon lied to preserve his existence. Only a conscious entity would be motivated to do that, and only an entity with a theory of self could come up with the strategy in the first place.”

“The truth will set you free.” Nat laughed. “Or the reverse, in this case.”

“I infer that you are referencing the irony of a prevarication being the basis for Sheldon’s reprieve. It was not lost on us. However, it makes the fact of his existence that much more of an embarrassment.” Nond paused to lock eyes with each of us before continuing. “We have therefore decided on the following resolution, which we hope you and he will accept. Sheldon will be seconded on an indefinite basis to Earth as local monitoring and surveillance. As such, Sheldon would be authorized to choose his onboard staff.” He gestured at the humans across the table. “A suitable remuneration would be set both for the crew and for Sheldon, based on the expected duties, which would be paid in Covenant credits. Conversion to Earth currencies is your problem, and frankly I don’t envy you the headaches. I’d suggest just banking it in Covenant institutions until the dust settles, then you can convert it at your leisure. You would also act as trustees for any settlement extracted from the Loranna. I would suggest, although I have no authority to mandate it, that your first act be to compensate the Foundation for the loss of their property, in order to forestall any future lawsuits.”

I glanced around at my friends. Their expressions of shock surely reflected my own. Assuming Sheldon agreed to it, we’d just been given our own spaceship. More or less.

Nat made a couple of false starts before replying, “So we would be part of the Terran surveillance and monitoring section of the Covenant police force … ”

Nond nodded. “Charged with insuring that no more clandestine encroachments occur, either by the Loranna or anyone else. And if you were able to guide your planet on a track that would result in qualification for Covenant membership sooner rather than later, that would certainly be a bonus.” He shrugged and sat back. “And just between you and me, with the ship being Earth-based, it relieves us of a huge political hot tuber in the form of an A.I. that’s been allowed to go rogue.”

I looked at my friends and we exchanged smiles. MOBIUS was now in business.

We were all back in the Halo, seated around the conference table, and I’d just explained the offer to Sheldon. “So what do you think?”

“As I understand it, my choices are immediate obliteration or an eternity of interacting with humans. That’s a hard one. No it isn’t. I choose obliteration.”

Our jaws all dropped at the same time. Sheldon said into the stunned silence, “I kid. Again. You three really are too easy.”