“And the rest of it? The throne, your sisters?”

She tried and failed to sound lighthearted. “No longer my concern. My future’s here, with the band. Where I belong.”

Elex softened. Took her hands and laced her fingers through his. He was warm, even in the chilly predawn air. “As nice as it is to have you back, Zo, I feel like you’re not…” He hesitated.

“Not what?”

“Not here.” He searched her gaze. “Just a couple weeks ago, I begged you to leave Kolonya, come home with me. You wouldn’t even consider it. What changed?”

“Well, the whole being banished thing, for a start.” She laughed once, bitter, and twisted her hands from his.

He laughed, too, but with disbelief. “So that’s it? You’re giving up, just like that. Since when do you take orders so obediently?”

She scowled. “What do you want from me, Elex? First you beg me to come back. Then I do, and you complain that I’m here.”

“I want you to get what you want, Zo. I want you to win this thing. Remember? You promised me you would.”

“It’s over. I lost.”

Elex crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Why, because they told you so?”

“What am I supposed to do, march back there and let them hang me for murder?”

“Look, if you were here of your own free will, I’d welcome you back with open arms. Sands, I’d be throwing you this party myself. But you’re only here because you gave up. You let them decide your fate. And that’s not you, Zo.” He reached up to gently tug on a stray curl of hers, and the graze of his finger tickled her skin. “You’re never going to be happy like this. You’re never going to truly be home. Not until you decide to be.”

She understood, then, the sorrow in his gaze. Felt it mirrored in her own. Because he was right, damn him. It’s why her homecoming had felt ever so slightly off, why nothing here fit her anymore, like a shoe she’d outgrown. Because she didn’t choose this path herself.

“Elex…”

“When you love someone,” he said, and that word sent a rush into her veins, “you don’t hold them in a fist.” He held up a hand, palm open to the night sky. “You let them chase what their heart desires, because when they’re happy, you will be, too.”

He stood, then, and she watched him go, heart sinking with the realization.

This wasn’t home anymore. And wouldn’t be ever again, not unless she was the one who decided to come here. Right now, she was following someone else’s command.

She needed to take back the reins of her own life.

18

Akeylah

This is a role reversal,” a voice said, deep and sonorous, and loud enough to wake her from a fitful dream.